I opened pandora's box ....if I was one of those people that had 360 turning joints, what are they called....contortionists?  I'd kick myself reallly super super hard.   i'm  extremely disturbed right now. 

I went to that bar tonite where the crazy ex used to frequent.  I was banking on him not being there on a tuesday nite but I was so wrong.  Being polite, I acknowledged him and said hi.    He asked for my # and if we could keep in touch.  I didn't think there was any harm in that.... I was wrong again!!!!!!!!!!   please someone else kick me!!!!

guess who I hear from at 2am this morning?  that's right.  he's talking about all the reasons why we should hang out again and that he has no agenda.  and then he asks me out to dinner this weekend.  he's almost delusional.  I'm going to have to tell him it's a bad idea to start talking again......but one thing I'm afraid of, he's bipolar and has violent tendencies.  never to me, but I wouldn't put it past him to do something regrettable in his fits of unreason.   he still knows where I live. 

this was about 3 years ago when I had no clue what was good and bad for me.  what was I thinking????   having little self confidence and esteem really affects what you'll tolerate in a dysfunctional relationship.  quite sad. 

anyways, I could end up on some tabloid news show....."deadly consequences of having a jealous psycho ex".    okay, maybe my imagination is running wild.  who knows.  but I have the creepies and I can't sleep.