I love the way that she kisses me. I love her hair and her smell. Her eyes have a warm embrace. She makes me want to dance. I feel free when I’m with her. I don’t want to be anywhere else. Her touch is so graceful and warming. She makes me smile when I don’t want to. She takes every breath away from me. I feel as if I’m losing my mind and I can’t gain control. She is my world.

And I lost her.

To another she is with. She is in love with him. Feels for him, what I feel for her. I hate it. I just can’t be happy. Not for anything in this world. When I try I always seem to fail and fall. I pick my self up to just get knocked right back down again. To take two steps forward and get knocked three steps back. Like is weird. And harmful. I can’t stand it. I don’t want to live anymore. It’s not fair. I trey and try and I always lose.

I had a great thing once, but then I went and through it all away for someone else who treated me like shit. I hate myself so much for that. She really did mean a lot to me. More than any one person knew. I never really felt like anyone truly wanted me until I met her. I through it all away for what? To be left alone here to rot and die alone. That’s all my life is now. To be alone and suffer. I haven’t ever done anything to anyone. I just get left here.

My friends are drifting away from me and with graduation coming up, it hurts worse. I’ve never really had anyone I could truly trust. My best friend lives four hours away and she doesn’t even have time for me anymore. I can’t stand it. I really really can’t. I’m so stressed out that I don’t know what to do anymore.