This month has been such a blur.

The day after my last entry, I fell ill...for the first time.

I missed school on November 1st.
This whole month feels like a gradual decline, since then.

I worked from 10am until 5pm, the next day...still sick. Then, attended class, from 6pm until around 10pm...no difference in health. Still sick.

The next day, I went to all of my classes. Not feeling as terrible, yet still unwell. That night, I joined Carly + her mum to the Hidden Cameras show at the Casbah. We danced hard, and our hearts glowed.

I managed to switch a shift the next morning, so my director wouldn't slaughter me for missing another rehearsal - I had one scheduled the day that I missed school. Never enough time - go, go...

My housemates were all gone by the time I returned from my classes that evening. I attended to almost all of my chores, even the more tedious ones.

Late into the night, I discovered a message from Mike, telling me that all of his housemates were gone for the weekend too. We visited a fair bit that weekend, and I'm thankful for it. So warm, so happy.

On the 6th, I had rehearsal scheduled from 10am until 6pm...which lasted probably until 7pm, ugh. Go, go...

I worked with Julia the next night. Illness excelerating...

The next day I attended classes, and rehearsal. Still feeling terrible...

On the 9th, I opened the store. My mother planned to visit me sometime that day, prior to an appointment she had here in town, so I saw her sometime throughout my shift. Before she left, I asked if she had to go home right away...she didn't have to, she wasn't busy. I asked if she could take me to the hospital when my shift was over. She agreed to it.

Rather than going to the hospital, we went to a nearby walk-in clinic.
Three hours later, the doctor saw me. A strep test came out negative.

Follicular tonsilitis, he said.
Two penicillin tablets twice daily, he said. Take them until they're all gone. Don't miss a single dose. Stay in bed until Monday.

I didn't miss a single dose.
I stayed in bed, for days.

And yet, rehearse, rehearse, rehearse,
essays, essays, essays,
and then work, work, work...

Go, go, go...

Brief visits, late, comfortable. Illness feels fleeting. Warm, happy.

That following Monday, the 14th, I had rehearsal from 5pm until 10pm. The next night, I had another rehearsal from 5-10, but I couldn't get out of work from 5-9...which made for a VERY unhappy director. Agh.

The next day (the 16th), I opened the store. I remember visiting some vendors in the atrium of the Student Centre, several hours after I finished work. I bought some chocolate covered brazil nuts for my mom, and some nag champa incense for myself. Then I had another dress rehearsal that evening, effectively causing scheduling conflicts with a test, in one of my classes. A new headache. Another headache.

On the 17th, between classes, Anjie and I made a random trip downtown. I wanted to buy boots, but found none worth buying. We lucked out with some great consolation prizes, though - I bought a cute blue sweater with colorful shoulder stripes, some knee-high socks that mostly match (what a ridiculously coincidental find, aaah), and a terribly cute pink slipdress. I love it.

My preview show for Henry V was that night. It went over remarkably well.

Mike visited that evening. More happiness; more warmth.
So simple, really.

The next morning, I opened the store. I missed my acting class that day...agh.

My mother came to my [official] opening night, that night. We shared a personal pizza for dinner, and I gave her the chocolates. We laughed together. It was nice.

That night's performance felt perfect - not just in terms of my own opinion of myself, but in terms of the overall cast. Everything about it was unbelievable.

I found my mother in the lobby, following the show.

When she turned to me, the whites of her eyes were pinkish.
Then, without a word...she hugged me.
Hard.

So huge.

After the show, a reception for the cast and crew was held at the Phoenix. Free snacky-foods = yes, Tanya was there.

Several professors attended the show that night, and the reception as well...I'm in classes with all of them, currently. One remarked that this was "the best fall major that McMaster has ever had, as long as [she]'s been there." All-around solid performances, she said. So huge.

Our director said a speech, in which he said that, of all the theatrical productions he's been involved in, this has been the greatest one. Fighting back tears. So huge.

That night, a phone conversation.
Beginning shortly after 1am; lasting until around 4am.

This is not a comfortable heart.

On Saturday, our matinee show ended with the first two front rows of the audience sobbing. Not crying...sobbing.

At dinner that night, I began to feel unwell again.

Our evening show was just as powerful. This show is so large, so intense.

Sunday morning brought back my intense illness.
I arrived late for our call, but I couldn't help it.
So sick.

I stuck it out for the show that afternoon.

Even if it meant collapsing offstage.
Even if it meant collapsing on the platform, prior to a particular speech...just so I wouldn't blackout and fall off of it, onto the stage.
Even if it meant blasting medication down my throat as fast as I could between two of my scenes.

While changing out of my costume, after the show, I looked at one of my castmates, Lauren (who plays the 2nd Henry), and mouthed the words "did you drive?" accompanied by hand gestures.
Yes, she said.
Mouthing and hand-gesturing "can you take me to the hospital?" followed, accompanied by tears.
Yes, she said, I just have some friends in the lobby upstairs, I'll go see them; then I'll come back here for you, okay?

It took me quite a while to change out of my costume.

We decided to head over to the walk-in clinic, though, in case it was still open...the same one I went to last time. It was open, after all.

I filled out a form, mentioning I was back with the same symptoms as my last visit - having received medication, and yet still not cured.

This time, a projected 30 to 45 minute wait.

I couldn't sit up straight for much longer. I decided to stretch across some chairs.

The receptionist called me over.

She said she didn't care if the people ahead of me got mad; she couldn't bear watching me stretch across chairs, feeling that badly. She told me to lay down in one of the receiving rooms.

I must've only been in there for about ten minutes, but it was so restful...

The same doctor I saw the last time was in, that night. He gradually recognized me.

Another negative strep test.
A new antibiotic. Erythromycin. Four times daily.

The pharmacy several doors down was closed (infuriating), so Lauren offered to drive me out to the 24-hour pharmacy. So thankful for that lady.

I took a dose of the medicine that night.
I spent half the night waking up, vomiting up mucus, and somehow returning to sleep.

I skipped class today.

I worked, from 3pm until 9pm, because I'm too afraid to ask for any more time off.

I received several messages over the phone, from the walk-in clinic, asking me to pick up a blood requisition form. They tried to catch me before I left, to give me the form, but they missed me by moments. So, before work today, I stopped by and picked it up.

And tomorrow, sometime before my early morning class, I'll be getting bloodwork done.

This may be my last update for a long time.
Pray for me, please, everyone.

For now, I'm off to bed.