yea so i have graduated high school! about damn time eh! in may i enlisted in the ARMY! yea. i chose my job with tyler coming home on my mind. i found a job with a $20,000 enlistment bonus and then i saw the date i was to leave. It only left me with two days to spend with tyler before i left for almost a year. so i pushed the date back a week ONE WEEK and i lost $10,000. well tyler got into trouble and wasnt allowed to come home so i didnt get to see him. Well I left for BCT. I got to call home every sunday. i got to call tyler three times and funny how things work out. He always seemed to busy to talk to his fionce the female he wanted to spend the rest of his life with, the female he hadnt gotten to talk to in 4 weeks. But whatever. Well i got mail pretty much everyother week. Woo i waited and i waited for a letter from the guy that said he loved me so much and the guy that when he was at BCT i would feel like a complete bitch if i didnt get a letter in the mail at least once a week. I got ONE and it wasnt even half a page. Mail is what keeps us soldiers goin when we are in training or in war. Well my graduation of BCT was comin up and well my family was making plans to come down. ma, da, gramma, neat, will and tyler all planned to come down. woo. i was so excited i wanted to see them so bad it was crazy! well family day came and i saw da and i ran into his arms i was so excited to see him. well anyways we got to the truck and still no one had said anything on where tyler was at. we got to the van and he called. he wasnt going to make it because his car was brokin. ok him and will were at the same post (ft bragg only two hours away from ft jackson) and mom and the rest of the family had picked will up from the exact same barracks that tyler stayed in. so yet again tyler missed a hugh part in my life. whatever right. my family was pissed! i just blew it off i knew it was coming to an end. so that night i talked to my battle and she said that if this was how it was goin to be then i needed to end it. i knew that i just need to be reasured ya know. well i graduated for BCT and moved on to AIT. Woo. very exciting. i didnt want to end it with tyler i "loved" him. well i would call him when i was in AIT and nothing he played the same "oh i am sorry that i screwed up. i will make it up to you." and then he would go on with doin what he was doin and not talk to me. well i got sick of this shit. Think about this... i am 19 yr. engaged to a guy who swears that he loves me but doesnt show it. And i am in the army the place for oppurtunity. I am in a job full of guys to chose from. Yea i wasnt gonna stay in this one sided relationship. so i called him one night and told him i didnt want to get married to him anymore. He said he had been feeling the same way. some of my male battles in BCT were telling me that any 19 yr old male that was in the army and had a long distance relationship as long as we had would so be cheatin on the girl back home. so with that said i was in that mind set that he had cheated on me. now i am not sure if he has cheated on me but that was my mind set when i got to AIT. well we broke up and i lived the single life for awhile. It was fun.

Well i graduated AIT and no one came just the way i wanted. Well i flew home and i am living the civilian life. i hate it. well tyler came home at Christmas and we had talked some during AIT. we had planned to hang out while he was home. So we did and we started dating again. STUPID ON MY PART EH!!

well he left for ft bragg again and that was no big deal because i would be down there in a few days to see my brother Will off to afghanistan. we did as planned and spent time together while i was there. saddly i didnt get to hang out with some of my buddies that were there while i was there. Bummer i miss them greatly. well anyway while i was there tyler and i also said goodbye for the last time in person for a year. tyler also was goin to afghanistan. well there we were saying our goodbye.

well for the next few weeks tyler and i's relationship was like it was in the past phone call everynightand not much talking. well i wasnt goin to sit by and let him not talk to me. So i bugged him all the time about talking to me. well he was always playin this damn retarded game that people call WOW. I HATE THAT GAME WITH A PASSION.  well i brought it up to him that i felt like i was having to competing with the for his attention and i was lossing. well he finally realized that this relationship wasnt about him. So the day that he left for afghanistan he broke it off with me.

whatever his loss right. i am over it. so he i sit crushin on a super sweet guy. That gives me attention that i have deserved for a long time. hehe i am bein a girl.

well yea. so that is what i have been up to.

<3 em