pshhh

So i gave blood today at school, well tried to. I sat there hooke dup an hour and only managed to drain like 1/4 a pint. it was rediculous. In the matt world, we went to breakfast on sunday andhe asked me to go to the movies, no popcorn throwing this time. I know he is the person writing the messages on socialmoth anonymously. they are always so sad or about how he isnt over erica. i wish, i could help him... i wish he could know for sure that i would never do to him what she did. How can you date someone for 2 years and then just cheet on them for no reason right in front of them. You would have to have steel balls. and i feel like its compleatly changed the person he was, he used to be so happy go lucky and optomistic. But i know what that feels like to have someone do that to you, i know all too well exactly what it feels like, look this is what he wrote:

 

Your my first thougt in the morning
My last thought before bed
I loved you more than anything else in my life
And I was even going to ask you to wed.

In one day my entire world was destroyed
2 years later i'm begining to heal
In all this time of pain and tortue, one thought in my head
Why does this have to be so real?

I love you, I really do...

 

 

 

arg, i dont know what to do, i know i should just wait, but its hard just being a friend, and i want him to move on but i know its only going to happen if he wants it to. I know hes dated like 3 girls since erica, and i think it all ended horribly, and i still want to be his friend, and is he really sleeping with julia(like its any of my business) and what is he making me for xmas, will he make me anything. God i have it bad for him..... and the truth is im not compleatly over my lost relationship with fabio, but i have to be strong because he will be here for xmas and wants me to hang out with him and take some snapshots, so idk