It was that time again, where I went up in the mountains to do nerd shit with other nerds. The last girl I dated is way in to doing that nerd shit so she was there and I got to spend time with her again. I’m well capable of being her close friend when I don’t see her. But when I actually spend time with her I am reminded of why I liked her to begin with. It was not as hard this time to see her as it was the last time so that’s improvement I guess. This whole romantic obsession thing is a real blight on my existence.
I talked to a friend today who said that we usually cling to the thing that last made us happy. ...she has her own issues. It’s not like the girl I was dating was the last thing to make me happy. But I certainly got something out of it that I have not yet gotten elsewhere. And over this weekend I had some negative thoughts that were unhelpful. “It was so easy for her to decide not to date me...” etc. Things that really made me sad. But I reminded myself that those thoughts did not serve a function and it was easy to change tracks at that point.
I do wish that she had chosen me though.
Ain’t that just the story of my life.
Oh. It was a good weekend though. I spent time with other friends as well and it was generally a fun time. It was even a fun time to see the girl I dated. It just stirred up some less comfortable feelings as well.