Guess what... I'm not perfect.
Now, I have known this all my life. There was no point when I thought I was perfect. There was a time when I was sure I could know everything which I figured would give me the tools necissary to be perfect but that's a little different. Even thought I know this I have always felt that there is no good reason other people shouldn't think I'm perfect. The illusion of perfection was a satisfactory second to the real thing however that seems to have backfired.
I feel like all anyone wants from me is perfection and I can't give it to them. Everyone in my life demands it in a different way. My dad and grandma expect me to remain on this perfect straight an narrow that I have been on my whole life. I am the only kid/grandkid to go to college and be responsible. I'm the only one who hasn't gotten into bad romantic relationships or exorbanant debt [excluding of course educational debt- good cause and all]. But now I've droped the ball I am BURNT OUT and all I can think is how pathetic it is to burn out now.
My sister tells people I'm perfect. When they ask what I'm like she says, "Oh she's perfect" she says this because she sees me as better than her. She sees me as prettier, smarter, more acomplished, blah blah blah. And then there's Ethan who doesn't think I'm perfect but that's what he's looking for so I want to be perfect to be what he wants. I just can't ever win at this perfection game. That kid has an irrational view of what a woman should be and it makes him completely blind to what he has in front of him. He sees all that I am to him and what I do for him and he just sees a friend because I come in a package that's too short, too fat, too plane, too pale. I guess that's why they refer to some as "The whole package" because they have it all... but seriously who has it all?!
so yeah, that's the news flash
Olivia is not perfect... she wasn't ever nor will she ever be... perfect.
perfection
