Hello everyone, once more. It seems that I'm on the move, to find a girl once more. Yeah it seems fairly soon, even for me. But I'm lacking the one part of my life that I always dreamed I would have, locally, for a while.
Now comes the hard part. There is a girl I like, and she well knows of it. The biggest problem here, is I'm going after what I can't have (again, god damn it). I don't see how it always happens to me, liking a girl that has a boyfriend. Maybe just the thrill of going after them is fun. There really isn't an answer to that from me. I hate ending up in this situation. It's really hard to deny a like for someone.
I'm hoping I have other options at hand to prevent this from getting any worse. I'm not completely sure of that, either. Why does it happen to the one guy, who has so much love and intelligence and beauty to share? Fuck if I know. I'm that guy, that's all I know for sure. Maybe it's just how my life works. Being single is like being in a deserted place isolated from the rest of the world. I feel ripped off for not being able to share what I have with someone else. Someone will eventually realize there's a lot more to me than meets the eye. And whoever she is, will eventually know how great of a person I can truly be. I'd love to think it's the girl I like at school, but she's had her boyfriend for about a year. There's not much I can do about that, now can I.
On another note, school itself has been going fairly well. My grades are still high and my intelligence when it comes to academics is paying off. I'm still very happy with 5 A's and 2 B's. Also, tomorrow is a half day. I'm hopefully gonna be leaving school around 11:10 instead of leaving at 11:35 when the buses do. My brilliance in school isn't making me anymore popular. But I'm sure glad I can help people when it comes to these kinds of things. But that's not what's gonna land me a girl who's going to respect and love me for the person they will truly see.
I'm starting to question why my life has to revolve around being with someone. The single life is fun, being a flirt is always good. But I'm guessing it's because I wanna show someone the affection that I can give. Flirting can't make up for something as great as a true like or maybe even a love for someone. I know of people who would definitely be with me. But that's only because, well, they live so far away that they've always known the true Brandon. Everyone knows my school and personal life are kept separate. So everyone I deal with at school, does not know, except for a few select people, who I truly am. If those people knew who I was outside of school they'd see me in a different way.
It's not fun, you know, being the nerd. Sure it gets you respect with the administration, and your grades stay high enough that you can always go off campus for lunch, but it gets you nowhere with your friends, or peers. But who I am is who I am. I'm not changing for the sake of others. I'm always gonna be that one guy, that you girls always overlooked because I'm not the prettiest person. But once you realized that I would have been great, and that you would have had a steady and secure relationship with almost everything you wanted, it would be too late. You already shunned me because I'm the nerd and I don't have the looks. And since you have done that, you've made me believe you want nothing, even when you might really want it.
I'm not sure how much more I can go on. But I'm still going to leave it to the point. I like someone, and she has a boyfriend, so therefore I must get over the fact I like her. And it'd surely be a lot easier if someone around here likes me. I'll give you a chance, and not out of desperation. Out of the light that being with someone makes me feel good about myself and makes me feel like I belong and I'm wanted. That's actually going to be all. Later. ›››βяλпdόп λĸλ Ŧнε Оиз λпď Ōŋłŷ βцяит Łαяdλѕѕ‹‹‹
