Toast.

Hang on. I seem to remember something about spam being bad somewhere in the terms of use. People obviously haven't tried it in conjunction with toast. Toast presents itself in many forms. burnt, triangles, rectangles, underdone, imaginary and sometimes double-buttered.
Double-buttering is a sin. Should you carry out this crime to the soul, when you inevitably make it into hell, mighty demonds will make your toenails into a fine sauce. Please take precautions against this by dying holding a semi-automatic.