Hi Bree, Im a new "friend". First I understand about your Dad being sick, mine had throat cancer that spread to his brain and everywhere else. I think you are an incredible person to leave school and your future to go home to help out your family. We need more people like you in this world!!! I have always felt a little guilt that I stayed away because of work when my Dad went through all of that. I hope you are rewarded 100 times over for this sacrifice you have made. If there is anything you want to talk about just send me a message and we can talk.

Ouch!  As you might remember, I  went through issues with my Mom's cancer, so my heart goes out to you.  It's scary as hell, no two ways about it, even if the prognosis looks promising.  It's not pleasant to have to change course, but, as long as you have breath in you, there's a chance to resume your present path.  And it might not be the best path later on, because a better one might come into view.

As for "blog... saves other people's time..." Not to undercut the value of blogging, I suggest a slight change of attitude.  People who don't want to be bothered with our concerns perhaps deserve less of a place in our lives.  [I don't include family in this, because they are issued at birth, like uniforms, and we get what we get .]  We need other people, even we who are a bit introverted (speaking for myself).  I find that the people I value WANT to hear from me, even with the bad stuff, perhaps because it gives them a chance to do something for me, however small, by listening.  And I feel good if I can return the favor.

Keep hoping, and be a little careful for what.  So you're stuck on an unlikely candidate?  Been there, don't ever expect to learn better, living with it.  At least, saying "I want..." is better than declaring for all time that "there's no one for me, I'm too screwed up..." or some rubbish like that.  I can think of a lot of quotes about this hope thing, like "hope is a powerful thing, better keep it positive."  And, "be careful of what you hope for, you might get it."  I remember some radio guy who used to sign off his show with "Prayer doesn't change things, it changes people; and people change things."  [I'm not a religious person, so I just substitute "hope," and it works just fine.]

And one for the road:  An old friend's mother used to say that if we could take our troubles, put them in a little bag, place it on a table, then pick up someone else's in exchange... we would always take back our own.

I wish you better days.  Take care.