We can't be friends. Moving so fast, we're headed to the end, we're done.

Day 2 of classes went alright. It was fun to say the least. I have to work 12 to close which isn't so bad since I haven't been sleeping great it'll give me something to do.

 

Greg and I are so screwed up. We dated, we broke up, we were friends, we don't talk. We're confused and it's complicated. I can't deal with this. He wants me to want things to be perfect but things aren't perfect and he doesn't get that because he wants them to be and it's this awful struggle he deals with that I can't deal with because I think it's pointless. He gets so frustrated with me for not wanting that. He's never really loved me for me only the idea of me how he wants me to be. It's terrible to realize that. I can't talk to him without crying. I'm over 1000 miles away and still...I can't deal with him. We got in a fight last nigt sort of, he got mad atleast. He emailed today saying he didn't want to talk to me ever again and blahblah. I emailed him back and now he's emailed me. Oh god I don't want to read it. He's no good, he's a jerk to nearly everyone and he never really liked me but still he was my best friend for so long, for like 5 years now. I can't deal with him leaving me full out. Recently we've fallen apart since the beginning of July. It's been over 6 weeks since we broke up. I'm so confused. I guess it'll take time. I'll meet someone new and all that. I'm young, I'm pretty, I make a mean martini. Hah. God life sucks some days. I think Ted would kill me if I showed up drunk. Well...there's always the after party...gah.

 

Someone tell me that not all guys are like this?

 

On top of this mom just called to tell me Lucky died. Lucky was a friend of my parents that would come to our birthday parties and random parties and stuff. He did a lot of handy work at my house. He was a nice guy.

 

Fuck today. Alright just fuck it.

 

My sisters birthday is tomorrow, she's turning 20. I wish i'd be there for it.