When I owe visa a little too much money, I get junk email screaming "Consolidate your debt!" and "Money Management"

This I understand. My finances are floating around the internet somewhere.

When I had my little drug problem. My email informs me of "drug rehabilitation" and "A healthy new start"

I get surprised with tickets to New York, and my hotmail screams "Go to Las Vegas!" and "Cruise values"

Matt buys me flowers. I get advertisements for florists.

Lance from work asks me if I ever intend to tie the knot. I get bombarded with "vegas weddings" "wedding photography" etc.

No, I'm not exaggerating. This is no laughing matter.

I think Hotmail is stalking me!