Wicked games

So, I've always had the belief that regret is pointless. Everything you do, and everything that happens to you makes you who you are. I wouldn't give up who I am for anything in the world.
Every day since Mark left, I've made a point to see something beautiful, or do something unusual. Yesterday I sat in a waterfall (a really small one) and William took my picture. When I saw the picture my breath was taken away. I feel so lucky to be able to go outside and pick freegrowing roses, or walk down the street and sit on a seawall. I can smell the ocean from my balcony.
Mark didn't make me unhappy. I put myself in a place where I let myself become unhappy. Which brings me to something I would like to put out there.
I was watching Maury yesterday. (With all the beauty in the world, I have to balance it with daytime tv) It was about controlling spouses/significant others. These women were not allowed out of the house, they couldn't eat when they wanted or see their friends or family. They were being abused, and basically held hostage. Now sitting on the couch, making my way to the bottom of a bag of bbq chips, I had to stop and think. Are we laying blame on the wrong person?
I know it sounds absolutely absurd, but think for a moment. We call these women victims, but in most cases (not all, I realize there are always exceptions) they allow themselves to be victimized. Why, if you are scared for your life, and fed up with being a subservient hostage, would you not pack a bag and leave? People aways say, "but I love him". What everyone neglects to realize is the man they say they love is not actually the man they fell in love with. People very rarely change. They simply pretend to be someone else for awhile.
I mean really, would any of these women have fallen in love with a controlling, abusive asshole? I vote no. Therefore, they must have fallen in love with someone else. Someone fake, someone who was playing a wicked game to win a prize. Whether that prize be a wife, a servant, or maybe in the end they even win a life.
We need to stop focusing on those who control and start focusing on those who surrender control. To everyone out there who has ever lost themselves to someone else, always remember, the game isn't over until you fold.