I think everyone's view of love is different and there is definitely nothing wrong with how you feel. Unfortunately, I find myself unable to actually have a sexual relationship with someone unless I have some emotion and feelings also involved. I really wish I could feel more like you do. I never thought I would act the way that I did with my ex-boyfriend, but I fell really hard. He meant a lot to me. So I guess maybe I don't expect a lot, but we both felt the same about each other. I know that I said he was my ex, but we broke up because of pressure from my family and not because we didn't care about each other.

Anyways, I'm sorry for telling you my story. I just wanted to leave you a message saying that I think anyone who tells you that the way you feel is wrong, is really obnoxious and should sit there and perhaps re-evaluate their own attitude towards relationships because I don't think anyone has the perfect attitude.

I'm sorry about you and your ex, but I think it's nice when you can still love someone you've been through so much with. It comforts me in a way. I hope next time around your family will realize it's up to you to lead your life, and not them.

These online journals are awesome!  They let me learn things about you I never would think to just ask you.  Or ask without sounding too nosy and insulting.  I love you!

Anyway, this post took me completely by surprise.   You always seemed to be so in love with everyone you were involved with.  Or maybe they were just all so in love with you.   Because you always spent so *much* time with them (instead of me, the jealous best friend , I just figured you were infatuated.  It struck me though, that maybe you're a lot like I am in that regard. I realized after I met Marc that everyone I had been with before, was someone I just wanted to know everything about.  Just a curiousity thing.  Or a conquest.  But anyway, I used sex as an extremely fun medium to break the personal barrier between me and that person.    Okay, one person made me one of "those girls".  I can't lie to you, you were there.   But I seem to rememebr an exception from you too, but I doubt that was about the sex.  Just like mine wasn't.  Which leads me to think... maybe that's what all girls want.  To break that barrier with a man, to be let into his emotions.  Maybe that's why we mistakenly sleep with them and then wait by the phone, crying and hoping that the act has gotten us closer to their heart.

I hate to use another reference to The Sims, as I know you haven't played it (or I'm assuming), but in that game, it's actually a conquest to get many people to fall in love with you.  Maybe that's some sort of primal instinct for women too.   To use your wiles to make a man fall in love with you.  So when it doesn't work, maybe it depresses most of us.  Except the special ones of course.   As I recall, it usually worked for me and I had to put up with bad choices of men who would annoy me on a regular basis with their "love".  Maybe it's 5 am and I don't know what I'm talking about.  But you left me a REALLY cryptic comment on mine.  I'm sure it was supposed to be more but, it left me confused and wanting more. Sorry to hear about the anonymous fellow that is unhappy. (i know who it is, obviously, but I'm going to pretend I don't)   7 more hours until I'm done my first year!!!! I'm so self-centered

Wow!!  You sure know how to wax profound about the deep questions in thoughtful and original ways.  And to attract some cogent and heady replies as well.

I wouldn't use unflattering terms to describe your attitudes; I would instead say you are mature and honest and unwilling to play the role (except naughty dress-up games with yours truly, but that's something different in the altogether, wink wink). 

I think your question about sex intensifying emotions for some and not for others is fascinating.  Not one I can casually answer, nor one that I can answer for you, not knowing much about you.  But I do believe there is a time of being/falling "in love" and it is beautiful and comes in many many flavors (from smitten and puppy love to eternal and devoted love and everything in between).  If you have not yet experienced it, or recognized it, fear not, you will, you will.

And, better yet: I believe that when you do it will be more honest and deep than those sit-by-the phone imposters to whom you refer.

...make that "poseurs," not "imposters."