Hi to all my friends

This is my latest poem for featherdawn 's poetry challenge this week. She showed a video of a girl whirling and twirling in a hula hoop and this is what I came up with. Dawn, I know it is too long, but I could not cut it.  So here 'tis.  Please comment if you read. I want to know what you think; thank you in advance.

THE DANCE OF LIFE

 

Whirling and twirling, around I would spin

Jerking and jolting with sounds from within

The shrieking of banshees, the twanging of strings

The cacophony urged me to do frantic things.

 

Now skip ahead, and then waltz to the side

Soon from mania, I’d scramble to hide

What I had once loved was not music at all,

‘Twas clamor, chaos; a satanic call

 

“Dance to my tune and all will be well”

Not saying I’d sashay my way into hell

He lured and cajoled, his instruments rare

His beautiful picture painted so fair

 

Starting to think my dance days were through

I heard instruments played, melodically new

Meandering over I heard sweet refrains

Of music resplendent with symphonic strains

 

Entering into those courts with thanksgiving

I felt that now I had just started living

For the man of the house asked me to dance

I was glad to oblige, to be given the chance

 

No discordant noise, just harmony’s sway

My lover and I danced ‘til early day

I tired, he stooped, and with loving charm

Took me and held me secure in his arms

 

“Dance to my tune and all will be well

I will lead you toward heaven’s glad swell

Heaven is so much more than you’ve dreamed

And angels sing the songs of redeemed.

 

From then until now, I dance with my lover

Feeling his divine presence hover

Joy in my soul as I twirl with lithe grace

Til we dance in eternity, there face to face.

 

 
   

 


 
 
robot2 on
Re: THE DANCE OF LIFE
Bonnie...This is simply beautiful...

dancing your way into life...everlasting.

bonniegirl on
Re: THE DANCE OF LIFE
Thank you for responding so fast, my friend. Did you find it too long, or boring? I just did not know how tomake it shorter.
robot2 on
Re: THE DANCE OF LIFE
not at all....long or boring

I found it perfect...since it touched me...

and that is perfect.

bonniegirl on
Re: THE DANCE OF LIFE
Thank you, birdie dear. 
lovespirit on
Re: THE DANCE OF LIFE
Bonnie,

 

     Your depiction of life on the dark side made me cringe...that's a good thing...this story is meant to produce a strong reaction...it takes talent to pull it off..

 

ls

bonniegirl on
Re: THE DANCE OF LIFE
Oh, thank you so much; that is high praise coming from you, dear!  I appreciate your comment and so glad you liked it!
crushgroove67 on
Re: THE DANCE OF LIFE
Absolutely beautiful. Great imagery and storytelling in the poem. You have a gift my friend!
bonniegirl on
Re: THE DANCE OF LIFE
Thank you, Joseph; It is only be God's grace.  I am so thrilled that you enjoyed it.
christianisrael on
Re: THE DANCE OF LIFE
I like it, Bonnie.  And so happy to know that this artistic expression has been restarted in your life!
bonniegirl on
Re: THE DANCE OF LIFE
Thank you so much; I absolutely love writing of any kind, poetry being a part of it, when I am inspired.  These challenges just give me a little push in the right direction.  Glad you liked it.  I read it to the church tonight, and I could just tell by their expressions and the stillness that comes after the reading, that I had captured their attention and that they liked it. Then the pastor said I have waited far too long to try to get my work published.
cas on
Re: THE DANCE OF LIFE
I think this is the best of yours I have read. Here's a secret: I actually love rhyming poetry -- if it's as good as this one.
bonniegirl on
Re: THE DANCE OF LIFE
Thank you so much Cas.  You don't know how much this compliment means to me.  I did feel especially inspired when I wrote this one. Came easily.
cas on
Re: THE DANCE OF LIFE
I love that it seems singable, and it does seem like one that would have to come naturally to fit so perfect. The first two stanzas are gold; they set up the entire poem perfectly.
bonniegirl on
Re: THE DANCE OF LIFE
Wow; someone else actually said that it sounds like a song...but I thought it was probably too long...but I may see if someone can do music to it someday.

I actually went back and read it in the face of such praise, my dear.  Thanks again; I know my calling is to write..i just need to send it to publishers...have just lagged in doing it.
cas on
Re: THE DANCE OF LIFE
I know the feeling. I write so much, and by the time I am feeling up to sending in my ideas and works, I feel like I've got nothing -- I immediately create a block. Ever wonder what happens when an unstoppable force hits an unmovable object? That's what I feel like right now.
bonniegirl on
Re: THE DANCE OF LIFE
Oh, that is the manic depressive in you; it is exactly how i feel all the time, and why I mess everything up for myself....just push through, dear, just keep pushing until the wall comes down...like that youtube lecture told us...by the way; i had heard it once, but I listened again; love it.
cas on
Re: THE DANCE OF LIFE
It's a great lecture. Good night!
bonniegirl on
Re: THE DANCE OF LIFE
Sleep well Cassie my friend!

 
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