You do certainly have a gift of poetry.  I am envious of your rhymes and rhythms... the most I can settle for is "poetic prose." *smile*  You have done well to catch the nuances, the emotion, the sensation... and yet at the same time, despite the difficult theme, you offer a ray of hope.  Lovely.*smile*

 

I shall try to keep up with your outpouring of words, but if I don't, please give me a nudge to stop by and see your creations!  I don't want to miss any!

thank you so much...see, that was not so hard, now, was it?...lol

did you see the "woven" one, tho?  it sounds like you looked at them all but I cannot be sure....lol

strangely, i have not had one comment for this one...whereas the woven one seemed to be very well received, especially since my poetrychallenge friends voted for me...

Yes, I read all three.  I commented on this one because it was the first one I read.  I liked them all, and have difficulty decided which one I liked best... so I won't. ;-)

I shall add you to my friends network, which at least will tell me when you've posted (and remind me to stop by)... even if I'm terrible at keeping up with my network, too!

true confessions, hey, zeff...

and yes, you should have done that already by now...since i reply to just about everything you say...lol

i am like that...feel the need to say at least something, and that is why people like having me around...but i am actually just practising the golden rule...lol

thanks for visiting my blog.   no comments though.  nice poem.  kind of speaks to "true" poverty.  not being without money, but being without religion.

 

 

i was commenting on your poetry and remarking that you had't commented on my essays.  no big deal.

i'm at work and just checking messages real quick, but i promise to take a look, okay?  have to be later tonight or morrow, tho, but i will...

and thanks again...

have a good day...

ok

Hmmmm It took me a few tries to get the correct rhythm, but after that it is quite good. It has a powerful mesage and pulls it off with very few rough edges.

A good performance.

thank you very much..i appreciate your comment immensely...

i know i must edit it, and take out that sustained because should not be in one stanza twice...but what other suggestions do you have to round off the rough edges?

As I said, this poem is quite good and need not be worried about overmuch. You did what I assume you set out to achieve.

okay then, thanks...was just the rough edges thingy that got me...lol

but i know i am new and just starting so of course it will be a bit rough and ready at first...

never had a formal lesson on poetry that i recall

I find formal poetry frustrating. It often seems forced. I like that I have not had any formal teaching because it allows me to say what I think and feel without looking at constrainst such as rhyme patterns and beat.

 

Formal poetry can be very well done (You only have to look at William Shakespeare to see that) but I find that unless you have the gift, the real deal thaen formal structure is more of a hinderance than a help.