divorceFor all of you out there that have been betrayed, lied too, and utterly surpirsed with divorce; I am so sorry. It stinks, and life goes on. You will meet a person that deserves your love and generousity that is a true partner, and you will be able to pick better. It is not the pain the of the love affair, it is the pain of the lies and lack of respect or trust--that is a much more damaging wound.
Why is it that some people put themselves between a rock and a hard place? Then when they feel the pressure and full consequences of their decisions, they want to divert the pain, suffering, and blame to another? Some need to constanty beat others up or put them down in order to feel any self worth.
Some people believe the rest of the world is too stupid to add up the facts. Well, they are not. People came to me and asked my perspective because they had already come to their own conclusions. They KNEW. Many KNEW before me...
I asked for NONE of this info. Friends thought it was important for me to know the truth.
Guess what? My poo stinks, and cheaters and liar poop is even stinkier! Do I have issues, heck yah! Do I do my best to act with curtesy and grace, heck yah! Am I always successful, probably not...Am I a private person, heck no! I am as WYSIWYG as it comes, and bless my mother for that. The fruit falls close to the tree.
Face the music sweethearts, cause eventually the truth comes out and we all gotta dance. I'm ready to boogie because I am proud of my behavior and who I am.
Here's a dose of reality as I see it. Some may attest it might be warped. But my shrink and therapist seem to think that I am right on the ball. The fact I have a shrink and a therapist may leave some wondering, keep wondering and reading my blog....perhaps I'll share more on that topic another day.
Anyway despite my issues....I didn't screw my spouses' bestfriend. I didn't leave the man I love and devoted to for another that makes more money and seems "classier." BTW, stealing your bestfriends' wife ain't classy... nor is leaving your hubby and jumping into the arms of his good friend--not a very good friend if you ask me... but who am i?... the ousted x... I may be ousted... that doesn't change what they did...
i patiently waited months for my side of the story, and now that everyone knows, they can understand why I might be a little upset....
(If he'll do with you, he'll do it to you... someday ask about the one he left me for... he lost a house in that one... wonder why he sugested I sign a quit claim?)
I didn't think signing the quit claim mattered because he told me I was his soul mate, wrote me amazing love letters, and told me we would be together forever and have babies. We know how that turned out--don't we. Ahhhh to be young and naive.... LADIES... NEVER...EVER... sign a prenup or a quit claim...
I'm not perfect, and I'm hurt too, and I didn't run to the arms of my husbands' good friend for consolation. So Madame X has no right to send me harrassing text messages about slander when there are no names, and her comment, "divorce hurts." OH PLEASE! "Divorce hurts... yah think!?!? WTF? ... I've been living it for 9 months on top of betrayal, lying, and a narcisstic wound that she may be better than me... which we know is impossible at this point....
Although it is not about better or worse... just different.... they are going through a difficult time, and they are making these choices because they believe it is best for them, and it very well maybe... not for me to judge....
If they didn't want people to know, they shouldn't have done it. Did they think everyone was stupid. EVERYONE figured out about OREGON. Oh people--please! They are just too polite to say. They didn't have to talk to me or read my blog to figure it out. They came and told me....
Plus my blog is a mode of therapy. We know I can use some of that! OR at least that's how the story goes, many have told me.
Instead of running into the arms of my lover... because he kicked me out of our home. I went to a dog rescue and lived in a small room that smelled that urine because my husband refused any access to our accounts while she was sleeping in my home, in my bed, leaving condoms on the floor for my beloved dog to choke on. At the time, I prayed daily for what my beloved was going through hoping we would make ammends. Also, please note the people I stayed with are AMAZING, kind, and generous. Having all those rescue dogs as therapy and daily running on the farm was the BEST medicine for a wounded heart and betrayed spirit.
Anyway, Madame X better stop texting me harrasing garbage. She's got the man I thought was my soul mate, what more does she want? I've had it!
Actions speak louder than words baby! These words are pretty powerful, and some actions even more. Madame X needs to stop reading my blog, stop stalking me, and move on with her life. You think divorce hurts! She's got my husbands' heart, she fed him in front of me around a campfire on our 6th anniversary. Yeah, divorce hurts. There's one dead tree at Salt Point that can attest to that.
Just leave me alone to settle business, let me lick my wounds, and let me heal... she can go cry in the arms of my husband, in my home, with my dogs on her lap... in the bed we bought together and made passionate love on.... she made her bed, she can lie in it... yeah, i would say divorce hurts... he's all hers...good good luck & good riddance... why the heck would i want him
P.S: They've talked about spawning little babie's.... yah good luck with that... who's going to change the diapers... apparently they're both immune to shit...
As much as I wish these were uncommon events in our culture. They are not. So many have shared tehir own stories of pain and anguish. I am so sorry. Perhaps our culture needs to rethink the laws of "monogamy" and "marriage." I just don't know anymore, and have a ton to think about. Happily ever after only exists in Hollywood, trust love and devotion take WORK. May the two of them learn how to WORK on their problems and have a happy lives. They have a lot of WORK to do and a little relationship counseling in the beginning would probably be a good proactive step for them since they are beginning with a seed of mistrust and doubt in their hearts. May they enjoy there lives together, and leave me alone... divorce is simply business and a legal transaction at this point....
Forgiveness is not for the other person.... it is for you to find in your heart to move forward... daily i say a prayer of forgiveness for both of them... today i think i will be praying extra hard, somewhere between that rock and a hard place...
