abuse
The hypocracy is mind boggling.
Blkdymun, I'm glad to meet you. Thank you for coming to my blog to talk. I was battered and abused and controlled for years by a man who was a Deacon as well. I was married for 13 years to him, and our children also suffered greatly. It was at the time of the Lisa Steinberg case - the father was abusing the daughter, and she died. The mother had knowledge of the abuse, but she was too afraid to come forward. She was prosecuted as an accomplice because she didn't stop him. That event really shook the foundations of a lot of homes. Mine included.
I spent many years in the church of my young adulthood, serving two to four times per week with various ministries. Yet nobody seemed to recognize the signs of control and abuse. Finally, one person did and he opened my eyes to the facts. I'm grateful that I took action when I did, because there were things that were happening to my kids while I was working that I had no inkling about. To say I felt guilty would be a gross understatement. The church turned its back on me for leaving - to go and stay in a women's shelter with my kids! My husband contacted everyone we knew from the West Coast to the East Coast, and I had phone calls galore. I was trying to do the Christian "thing" and I wouldn't tell anyone what was going on. I won't even say it all here, because it is now a done deal. But the fact is that since I wouldn't gossip with people, they chose to believe him. Thank God the court ordered a forensic psychologist to examine all of us. They got to the bottom of things, and the children were no longer forced to see him.
That was many years ago. Lots of scars still remain on my kids. The tender mercy of the Lord is bringing two of them around. But one remains ultimately bitter.
I appreciate that you have opened up this topic.
Sincerely,
Rev. Cathian
I'm very moved by your testimony, I can feel the hurt still and it pains me greatly. Let me say that i didn't come upon this topic by accident. It was brought to my attention by a friend of mine who went through it with her kids. She was married ti a deacon who beat the five of them every Sunday night after going home from Church. As in your case noone saw the abuse and she endured this for years until finally she just couldn't do it any longer. As a Pastor, leader and teacher in the church I feel compeled to take this issue in hand. I'm sure a lot of saints aren't going to likre it and I don't care but this Bishop will address it here and whereever I'm asked to do so. One of the arguments that will comeup is, an I a quailfied in phycology or in the field of abuse. The answer is no however, God has given me insight as to how to be able to relate to this subject and give saints such as yourself courage that this monster can be beaten.
I hope you'll take a moment and go to www.studiovee.com and look me up there please its new and i think you'll enjoy the stream. You'll fine me under Bishop Frank A. Willett Ministries. Take a little time and listen to the messages there, then surf the rest of the url its interesting. I look to hear from you often . I think we could do a lot of good with this topic here and other places. God Bless, I will certainly keep you in my prayers often. God be with you.
I thoroughly enjoyed speaking with you on the phone. I will be praying for your ministry in the area of spousal and child abuse. It is a hard work, one that I have been involved with for many years. I am glad for the boldness you feel to work within the system to open people's eyes. As I told you on the phone, our callings are similar, but very different. I will pray for you, and hope that you will also pray for me. It's good to meet a brother in Christ.
Warmly,
Rev. Cathian
Sadly my dear you're quite correct. I don't know you, however you sound like someone I either spoke to or read about sometime ago in Utaw I'm not sure if its you or not. But i think it was your story that inspired me to start to research this type and kind of behavior. I have another friend whom this blog is written about so i know the stories are true. I only want to bring this out into the light so it will be well know amongst people. Lives are at risk here and the Church of all places turns its head, such a shame. No wonder people won't come to God, why should they if this is going on. As they say I feel ya. Please stay in contact with me please ? I'd love to hear from you. Have a very Merry Christmas and may you and your famile see many a New Years.
Coincidentally, I just returned home from a shopping trip with my daughter, where I met up with a woman who I was good friends with years ago. We were both active in women's and children's ministries and spent a great deal of time together for a period of ten years. She asked where we were attending church now, and when we explained that we worship at home as a family, she clearly disapproved of our actions. I told her that I simply had no further use for any Christian fellowship would not hold a man accountable for his evil deeds against his own family. She thought it would be nice if we "came back to church anyway". Clearly, it's not just the (male) church leaders who perpetuate this mindset.
Please accept my apologies, I should have addressed you by name. I had mistaken you for someone I had read about in Utah when I was doing research for a church teaching on this very subject. I'm finding more and more saints telling me about this horrific episode in the churches. It seems the Lord has given me a word on this kind of issue and I'm going forward to let church, not just church goers but real honest to goodness church folk who are saved, sanctified and Holy Ghost filled and want to know that their salvation is at risk not only from sin but by the very institution they put so much trust and hope in, and that is the Church. There are no perfect churches we realize this, however from what I'm hearing so far there are many that condone spousal abuse knowingly and unknowingly. Its no wonder the unsaved stay away from the church with behavior such as this being condoned by church leaders and congregations. I've found many a scripture that speaks against evil men, violent men, angry men.
I hope to put this issue forth in several of my messages in the upcomming future on my internet Ministry. I believe more people will hear it there and begin to tune in and listen and become aware that this is happening here and now in their midst and share it with others, inviting therm to come and listen also. I'm not able to do this alone I need support from the saints who aren't afraid to speakout about this issue once they hear its being addressed. I'm able to reach thousands with my internet Ministry on www.studiovee.com Bishop Frank A. Willett Ministries. I sincerly hope you visit the web site an enjoy what is has to offer. Perhaps you and your family will eventually return to the House of God, for the Bible says "forsake not the assembling of yourselvs together", it also goes on to say " how can the people hear without a preacher, and how can the Preacher preach unless he be sent by God. I will continue to keep all of you in prayer daily. Please continue to write me, I look forward to hearing from you.
Peace, love and understanding
Brother Frank is right that we need to not forsake getting together with other believers. There are many ways to do that. If we are being transparent and open, and sharing our faith, and worshiping together, or sharing a prayer, then we have met in Jesus name, and we have not forsaken the assembling together. Jesus wasn't into numbers - He is into hearts. When we really know and understand and love Him, then we want to share Him with everyone we meet. That happens in so many different ways, and it's not always about buttonholing people or preaching on the streets. Somehow we have to bust out of the mold or the box that the 21st Century Christian Religious System is, and find our way back to the foot of the cross of Jesus. We need to eliminate the middle men who make us feel as if we can't find our way to God without them, and we need to have the apostles, prophets, evangelists, pastors and teachers in the BODY of Christ (and not some group who owns a building) take their proper places as servants in the Body so that Christ may be the Head of His own church once more!
Man or woman, we are all sinners. We are saved by grace, but we must always work on keeping our old sin nature at bay. If we don't, then pride rises up within us, and soon we want to build monuments to ourselves and have others come there for worship. God will not share His glory with any man (or woman). But if we gather to glorify Him, then He will shed His light into our hearts and glorify Himself in us.
Wow... what a concept. God is so good to us.
Peace and love to you both, Whisper and Frank. I appreciate this conversation very much.
One of the reasons you don't hear about spousal abuse in the church is because the church is in denial od such a thing. Its aware of it in many cases but turns it head as though nothing is happening. It also makes the bused feel isolated and wrong and persecuted. I'm going to take a stand against this type of behavior and speakout especially on my internet Ministry on http://www.studiovee.com . That will most likely be the message coming out in Feburary on Bishop. Frank A. Willett Ministries. You'er welcomed to go listen to studiovee at antyime itvs always on 24/7 and there's so much to choose from. Hope to hear back from you.
Peace, love and understanding
I'm gonna be lookin for you to stop by an take a listen to the messages on http://www.studiovee.com not only to me but to the host of others that are there from the local Washington DC. area as well. We'er on 24/7 going world wide. Oh and just so you know, this is my personal web page http://www.geocities.com/bisfawillett/index.html . Hope you'll sign the guestbook there also.
Peace love and understanding
That message on spousal abuse should air by this weekend hopefully. Stop back and listen. Thanks and as always your comments are most welcomed.
Peace, love and understanding