Well God Damn It

I was feeling better, and now i'm feeling like shit again and I damn well know why. I don't know how much to say cuz i don't want anymore fucking drama on this blog, but damn it. why did someone have to fuck him up? I know it's all her god damn fault and the stupid bitch won't admit it. it's always everybody else's fault. you can't screw someone over and leave any permanent effects on them, nope, not at all, even though she damn well knows people have done it to her and me. this is bullshit. bullshit, bullshit, bullshit. i hate my god damn emotions. I wish those little pills like the ones in Equilibrium did exist. i'd rather never feel than feel the way i do now, because when i feel this way, i'm usually not the only one that gets hurt. someone else usually does whether i make them sad, mad, or whatever. I feel so suicidal right now. I don't want to hurt anymore. I just need to keep tell myself that i'm over-reacting. I'm crazy and that makes me stupid. I don't know what's real.