as soon as i'm done typing this, i get to go tell my human sexuality professor about how there's a certain part of the class that i think its best i skip out on...i'm sure she'll be very understanding and kind about it, i talked to her about the fact that i have ptsd n how the cops ran me thro the ringer n all of that back when i took her choices n changes in sexuality class, and she's a sex therapist so she's heard tons of stories so even if she doesn't remember mine coming from me, its still not unique. still makes me nervous as hell that i have to do it, tho. i really wish i could have seen albert today to help take some of this stress off, but hopefully thursday he'll see me. i don't understand why he's doing this, why he just can't tell me no. its probably some other new rule cyn came up with that he's took much of a fucking lap dog to stand up to. the more i think about it, the more angry i get n the more i wonder wtf i'm still doing hurting over him, but unfortunately no matter how much of an ass he is, its not making me like him less. its just making me hate myself that much more because i don't like him less.
ptsd
