lovethank you for the birthday wishes everyone. i had a lot of fun last night and for the most part things were ok. apparently, tho, matt opened his punk ass mouth about something that made albert start feeling shitty, but we'd agreed on tuesday that we weren't going to talk yesterday so he's supposed to call me later tonight n then yeah...we also ended up talking a little this morning, which of course was shitty. so much shit has been happening...altho the one thing that he did say last night was that he was worried about what might happen. he was worried that if we had sex it would make things harder than they already were. we ended up doing it last night and we did again this morning, but after we did once this morning, (which apparently my room mates heard, lol. i was trying to be quiet! i think i was still a little drunk, too) i wanted more sex and albert wouldn't do it. i was such an asshole, i kept asking and i really feel like such a prick for it. that's the second time i've ever done something like that to a guy, and i was drunk both times. he said he didn't want to have sex again because again, things are hard enough as they are and he didn't want it to be worse. maybe i'm just so used to sex not meaning anything, but it was really easy for me to detach myself from what we did last night and this morning. albert, unfortunately, was not so lucky. it felt strange that he ended up being the one crying and me being the one who was numb. i mean i did cry a little, but i could tell this morning that i wasn't nearly in the same amount of pain that he was. i'm glad, tho, because i'd even cried in his arms saying that i wished i could be numb like him, and now i am. this may sound kind of cold-hearted, but i actually like this. it feels good to just turn off my pain.
i'm hoping albert calls me soon. i was supposed to see him on campus today, not to talk necessarily but hang out, but i ended up skipping class because i was so hung over. its a good thing i didn't try to catch the bus, too, cuz i ended up throwing up around the time that i would have been on it if i had. i left albert two messages trying to make sure he knew i wasn't coming, so yeah. today is also reanna's 21st birthday. i called her a little bit earlier today n wished her happy birthday. she said she'd call me later, but its been a few hours now n she hasn't. go fucking figure, but whatever, i'll probably go to her party tomorrow. the only thing is that its a theme/costume party and i don't have a costume, so maybe not. there's supposed to be a party at my place the next couple nights anyway. who knows, maybe i'll meet some guy or girl to get my heart off of albert. i hope i do, even tho i know that deep down inside all i really want is him. i played this song for him this morning, too:
"A love-struck Romeo sings the streets a serenade
Laying everybody low with a love song that he made.
Finds a streetlight, steps out of the shade
Says something like 'You and me babe, how about it?'
Juliet says 'Hey, it's Romeo, you nearly gave me a heart attack!'
He's underneath the window she's singing 'Hey la, my boyfriend's back.
You shouldn't come around here singing up at people like that...
Anyway what you gonna do about it?'
Juliet, the dice was loaded from the start
And I bet that you exploded into my heart
And I forget I forget the movie song.
When you gonna realize it was just that the time was wrong, Juliet?
Come up on different streets, they both were streets of shame.
Both dirty, both mean, yes and the dream was just the same
And I dreamed your dream for you and now your dream is real.
How can you look at me as if I was just another one of your deals?
When you can fall for chains of silver,
You can fall for chains of gold,
You can fall for pretty strangers,
And the promises they hold.
You promised me everything, you promised me thick and thin, yeah!
Now you just say 'Oh Romeo, yeah, you know I used to have a scene with him'
Juliet, when we made love you used to cry.
You said 'I love you like the stars above, I'll love you till I die'
There's a place for us, you know the movie song.
When you gonna realize it was just that the time was wrong, Juliet?
I can't do the talks, like the talk on the TV
And I can't do a love song, like the way it's meant to be.
I can't do everything, but I'll do anything for you,
I can't do anything, except be in love with you!
And all I do is miss you and the way we used to be,
All I do is keep the beat and the bad company.
Now all I do is kiss you through the bars of a rhyme,
Juliet, I'd do the stars with you any time!
Juliet, when we made love you used to cry.
You said 'I love you like the stars above, I'll love you till I die'
There's a place for us, you know the movie song.
When you gonna realize it was just that the time was wrong, Juliet?
And a love-struck Romeo sings the streets a serenade
Laying everybody low with a love song that he made
Finds a convenient streetlight, steps out of the shade
He says something like 'You and me babe, how about it?'
'You and me babe, how about it?'"
-Dire Straits, "Romeo and Juliet"
well, the version i played was the cover that The Killers did, but its basically the same as the original Dire Straits song. i sang along with the song and finally when it got to the line, "I can't do everything, but I'll do anything for you," I cried a little. I cried until, "All I do is keep the beat and the bad company." I told myself to be strong, I told myself to be numb. This song makes me think of the two of us so much, especially those few lines, and the fact that we actually have cried while we've made love to each other. I feel like after that first verse I become romeo and albert is juliet. There was just a point this morning that I didn't know what else to say, so I just walked over to my computer and played this song. last night after i gave him a lap dance, (the first one i've ever given, and my memory of doing it is a little hazy...haha...) I just put The Killers' Sawdust on and i told him that if we listened to it long enough that there was a song on there that made me think of him, and that was the song i was talking about. (we didn't get to it last night, we had sex and fell asleep, lol. i don't remember if we had sex before or after i turned the music off...could have been both, haha.)
well its 9:45 now so i'm pretty sure reanna won't call and albert probably won't call for a couple more hours. I think i'll play the sims for a while and then try to get some sleep. I spent most of the day sleeping actually, but I'm still feeling pretty exhausted. I just wish we could be together or i could get over him, and it has to be the latter even tho i prefer the former...at least cyn's pulled some shit recently that will make getting over him a little easier, but i'll talk about all of that bullshit later.
i'm hoping albert calls me soon. i was supposed to see him on campus today, not to talk necessarily but hang out, but i ended up skipping class because i was so hung over. its a good thing i didn't try to catch the bus, too, cuz i ended up throwing up around the time that i would have been on it if i had. i left albert two messages trying to make sure he knew i wasn't coming, so yeah. today is also reanna's 21st birthday. i called her a little bit earlier today n wished her happy birthday. she said she'd call me later, but its been a few hours now n she hasn't. go fucking figure, but whatever, i'll probably go to her party tomorrow. the only thing is that its a theme/costume party and i don't have a costume, so maybe not. there's supposed to be a party at my place the next couple nights anyway. who knows, maybe i'll meet some guy or girl to get my heart off of albert. i hope i do, even tho i know that deep down inside all i really want is him. i played this song for him this morning, too:
"A love-struck Romeo sings the streets a serenade
Laying everybody low with a love song that he made.
Finds a streetlight, steps out of the shade
Says something like 'You and me babe, how about it?'
Juliet says 'Hey, it's Romeo, you nearly gave me a heart attack!'
He's underneath the window she's singing 'Hey la, my boyfriend's back.
You shouldn't come around here singing up at people like that...
Anyway what you gonna do about it?'
Juliet, the dice was loaded from the start
And I bet that you exploded into my heart
And I forget I forget the movie song.
When you gonna realize it was just that the time was wrong, Juliet?
Come up on different streets, they both were streets of shame.
Both dirty, both mean, yes and the dream was just the same
And I dreamed your dream for you and now your dream is real.
How can you look at me as if I was just another one of your deals?
When you can fall for chains of silver,
You can fall for chains of gold,
You can fall for pretty strangers,
And the promises they hold.
You promised me everything, you promised me thick and thin, yeah!
Now you just say 'Oh Romeo, yeah, you know I used to have a scene with him'
Juliet, when we made love you used to cry.
You said 'I love you like the stars above, I'll love you till I die'
There's a place for us, you know the movie song.
When you gonna realize it was just that the time was wrong, Juliet?
I can't do the talks, like the talk on the TV
And I can't do a love song, like the way it's meant to be.
I can't do everything, but I'll do anything for you,
I can't do anything, except be in love with you!
And all I do is miss you and the way we used to be,
All I do is keep the beat and the bad company.
Now all I do is kiss you through the bars of a rhyme,
Juliet, I'd do the stars with you any time!
Juliet, when we made love you used to cry.
You said 'I love you like the stars above, I'll love you till I die'
There's a place for us, you know the movie song.
When you gonna realize it was just that the time was wrong, Juliet?
And a love-struck Romeo sings the streets a serenade
Laying everybody low with a love song that he made
Finds a convenient streetlight, steps out of the shade
He says something like 'You and me babe, how about it?'
'You and me babe, how about it?'"
-Dire Straits, "Romeo and Juliet"
well, the version i played was the cover that The Killers did, but its basically the same as the original Dire Straits song. i sang along with the song and finally when it got to the line, "I can't do everything, but I'll do anything for you," I cried a little. I cried until, "All I do is keep the beat and the bad company." I told myself to be strong, I told myself to be numb. This song makes me think of the two of us so much, especially those few lines, and the fact that we actually have cried while we've made love to each other. I feel like after that first verse I become romeo and albert is juliet. There was just a point this morning that I didn't know what else to say, so I just walked over to my computer and played this song. last night after i gave him a lap dance, (the first one i've ever given, and my memory of doing it is a little hazy...haha...) I just put The Killers' Sawdust on and i told him that if we listened to it long enough that there was a song on there that made me think of him, and that was the song i was talking about. (we didn't get to it last night, we had sex and fell asleep, lol. i don't remember if we had sex before or after i turned the music off...could have been both, haha.)
well its 9:45 now so i'm pretty sure reanna won't call and albert probably won't call for a couple more hours. I think i'll play the sims for a while and then try to get some sleep. I spent most of the day sleeping actually, but I'm still feeling pretty exhausted. I just wish we could be together or i could get over him, and it has to be the latter even tho i prefer the former...at least cyn's pulled some shit recently that will make getting over him a little easier, but i'll talk about all of that bullshit later.
Quick Links
Latest Comment
Re: Head-ache Central...Sugge... - How do they feel about each other? If they like each other... Lad, you...
| Terms of Service
| Privacy Policy