dramaso i made this video yesterday n i meant to post it before i went over to jackie's for the night, but the software that allows me to upload videos off my camera was being a dick n i didn't have the time. i'd write a little more about what me n albert talked about, but right now i'm pissed off about something else that i'll probably just post in another video because i'm a lazy ass.
some highlights i guess tho are that we talked about how we've both noticed this pattern that keeps happening: we'll talk, things will be better for a while, then something happens, things go to shit, n then we talk again. n we both agree, it really sux. the problem is that i really wish him and i could hang out again n have the types of conversations we used to have again, not just from when we were dating but before that, too. things like our philosophies on life n the way we see the world n stuff like that. its just that apparently cyn is still really jealous that there were things me n albert could do that she just couldn't. i didn't ask if albert meant that psychologically she just couldn't do it, or if physically she couldn't. i dunno, i just thought she'd be over that by now.
that n she came by a couple of times while me n albert were talking. once she kissed him before she left, n that didn't hurt as bad as i thought it would, but then again i also rolled my eyes n looked away. (seriously, fucking bitch didn't have to do that n she knows it bothers me) the second time, tho, she just wouldn't leave n i knew we were going into a stand off- who was gonna get tired first n leave. it was her, (w00t for me!), but when albert came back i asked him if he got chewed out n he said, "kinda."
later on when we were talking about how emotionally draining this pattern has been for him, he brought up that, "once i leave here, i'm not done." n its because he goes home n cyn plays 20 questions to find out wtf we talked about. i don't see why she still does that when all three of us kno that when messages go thro albert, they don't always come out the right way. fuck, albert said another thing that bothers cyn is related to not being able to let go, n for the sake of not getting things wrong, (which is why that's all albert told me in the first place), i didn't ask him to clarify if its because i can't let go of him, the pain they've caused me, or if its because she can't let go of her jealousy.
but yesterday, for the first time, i was honestly terrified of what was going to happen n what conversation they were going to have when he got home, cuz she thought he was gonna be home by 1:30 n he probably wasn't home until 3:30 or 4:00. she even walked by one more time after that, n she actually had the audacity to smile n wave.
n i guess he came by this morning before he left for work. when i got home this morning i was so pissed that i wanted to call him just to vent...but right now i actually need to catch the bus so i can do some homework, so i'll get to that shit later. besides that, i'm sure its gonna get worse before it gets better like shit always seems to do...
some highlights i guess tho are that we talked about how we've both noticed this pattern that keeps happening: we'll talk, things will be better for a while, then something happens, things go to shit, n then we talk again. n we both agree, it really sux. the problem is that i really wish him and i could hang out again n have the types of conversations we used to have again, not just from when we were dating but before that, too. things like our philosophies on life n the way we see the world n stuff like that. its just that apparently cyn is still really jealous that there were things me n albert could do that she just couldn't. i didn't ask if albert meant that psychologically she just couldn't do it, or if physically she couldn't. i dunno, i just thought she'd be over that by now.
that n she came by a couple of times while me n albert were talking. once she kissed him before she left, n that didn't hurt as bad as i thought it would, but then again i also rolled my eyes n looked away. (seriously, fucking bitch didn't have to do that n she knows it bothers me) the second time, tho, she just wouldn't leave n i knew we were going into a stand off- who was gonna get tired first n leave. it was her, (w00t for me!), but when albert came back i asked him if he got chewed out n he said, "kinda."
later on when we were talking about how emotionally draining this pattern has been for him, he brought up that, "once i leave here, i'm not done." n its because he goes home n cyn plays 20 questions to find out wtf we talked about. i don't see why she still does that when all three of us kno that when messages go thro albert, they don't always come out the right way. fuck, albert said another thing that bothers cyn is related to not being able to let go, n for the sake of not getting things wrong, (which is why that's all albert told me in the first place), i didn't ask him to clarify if its because i can't let go of him, the pain they've caused me, or if its because she can't let go of her jealousy.
but yesterday, for the first time, i was honestly terrified of what was going to happen n what conversation they were going to have when he got home, cuz she thought he was gonna be home by 1:30 n he probably wasn't home until 3:30 or 4:00. she even walked by one more time after that, n she actually had the audacity to smile n wave.
n i guess he came by this morning before he left for work. when i got home this morning i was so pissed that i wanted to call him just to vent...but right now i actually need to catch the bus so i can do some homework, so i'll get to that shit later. besides that, i'm sure its gonna get worse before it gets better like shit always seems to do...
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