Party Like It's 1999

So this is my 1999th entry. I guess I had this idea in my head that I'd hit 2000 flat on my two year blogaversery, but i'm not going ot stop myself from blogging just so that can happen. I guess I'll start by saying again taht tomorrow morning we're leaving for Washington/British Columbia because Brian wants to visit/meet hobbit5 and I made some effort to get in contact with regalmistress, a.k.a. ladyfaith, a.k.a. lizza, to see if she wanted to meet because we're going to be in Victoria, BC, which is where she lives, anyway, but she didn't respond to my last e-mail. I know she told me not to tell anyone she was back, but I don't talk to any of the people she was trying to avoid anymore and its not like she uses her blog either. Supposedly some of our hotels might have internet so I might be on a couple of days, but don't expect it. If a plane going from San Jose, CA to Seattle, WA leaving at 8:40am and arriving at 10:45am crashes then you know I'm probably dead. I usually get the pre-flight gitters really bad, and the fact that I hadn't been is freaking me out now. Just my paranoia. I'd really rather not die because its not something I'm ready for, but if it happens then I guess the people on here that are also on my myspace can let everyone else on my myspace know. Its funny because my dad has been "randomly selected" for extra screening, although Carlos Mencia was right when he said a beaner would never be a terrorist. Interestingly, though, this is the first time my parents and my brother have flown anywhere in six years. Meanwhile I've flown four times: Japan, San Diego twice, and Ohio.

 

The raok blog came by! woo! that made me happy. I really don't think that people do things like that often enough. I dunno, maybe it means more to me because that's such a rare occurance to me and I've been struggling with things again recently. It still sux when I write things and no one comments, but I've learned to get over that and accept it...with one exception. So many people have complained to me about how depressed I am all the time that when I finally write about something good or I write that I'm feeling ok or that I'm trying to stay positive and reach out to people I still don't get any comments. No "I'm so proud," no "i'm happy for you." nothing. I think I'm just expecting too much fro people. I just figured that people would be happy to see me happy for once and yet nobody says anything. There's just no pleasing some people, but then again that's not why i'm here. Just know that now you have no right to complain if you won't acknowlegde any of my progress.

 

Lastly, I realized that I never actually got to talk about the time I kinda accidentally had sex with Doug while I was on my period. I'd written this big huge entry about it, but that night I'd been using my laptop and figured in the morning I could just charge it. at 3:30am Doug came over, we had sex, he left, I took a shower and then fell asleep. In the morning the power was out and continued to be out for the next day and a half. I was done for the most part with the entry talking about what happened with Doug and right as I hit the reply button my computer died, and if you look back in the archives you can see that it didn't make it. :( Luckily, though, meangirl20 asked about it when I brought it up in the entry I wrote after having sex with J on Wednesday, and this is the reply that I wrote to her. If you're curious about it then read on and if you're not then good night and I'll be back on the 24th! I hope y'all have a good week and I hope that we all have a safe trip! Later y'all!

 

ok, well in December I was on my period and at one point I thought it was over. Doug came onto yahoo messanger and asked me if I wanted to have sex and so I said yes. So he came over and at first he was on top. I could feel that it was really wet between my legs and I was hoping that that was just vaginal mucus and not period blood. We decided to switch positions and I got on top and when we did I noticed that there was blood on our hands. Fuck. I was so embarassed and I dind't say anything because I wanted him to finish, but at one point I got up while I was on top and the condom, his balls, and our hands were covered in blood. I lied and said it must have started and I just kept apologizing over and over again. He said it was ok and he'd had sex with a past girlfriend while she was on her period before, but seeing it now was a turn off. I can't stress enough how embarassed and terrible I felt and I could not stop saying I was sorry. I wrote an entry about it the next day but my laptop died right before I could publish it and the power was out so I hadn't been able to charge my laptop. The only thing I was ultimately able to write about it was this here: http://blackmamba.mindsay.com/yeah.mws

 

oh yeah, and I forgot to mention my hermit crabs. They have to spend this week without their light and its supposed to be hot so they'll be ok during the day, but I don't know about at night. The thing is, if I just left them in my room they wouldn't have water and without water they would die. By putting them in the patio so my brother's friend can give them water I'm atleast giving them a chance. So I guess I'm just asking for you guys to pray for them as well as for Leela. I am worried about her because we've only had her for a couple of weeks and now when she was finally getting used to us we're going to go somewhere. Please keep my pets in your thoughts. I hate asking people for prayers because I feel selfish, but I see other people on here do it all the time and no one seems to think so so yeah. it's now 12:18am and I need to get up at 5:00am and pack some last minute things like deoderant, toothbrush/toothpaste and such. Once again, I hope you all have a nice week!