interesting couple days...

so yesterday morning i picked puma up from the vet in the morning n he has roundworms. i think he might have gotten them from mike's fucking dog, n of course mike is reluctant to get his dog tiny tested. not only that, but she keeps shitting everywhere n if i'm going to have to tell him that if she keeps doing it, she's going to have to go back to his parents' house in willow creek. the dog isn't even supposed to be here n mike still isn't on the lease.

when i was waiting for the shuttle, i got a call from someone at student affairs saying randy, the judicial officer, wanted to meet with me that afternoon, n honestly, i was thinking, "thank god!" i'd been considering talking to her about this whole situation because i didn't know who else to talk to so i could clear all this crazy shit up.

i went n tabled n i didn't see albert just like i'd figured. maybe he exited out the door on the other side of the building that i couldn't see, maybe he just didn't go to class, but i didn't see him at all. n amazingly, i didn't freak out, either. no huge anxiety attack or anything. maybe its because i'm so aggitated with the whole situation that its helping me keep my distance from him, or maybe its because spending last week in ohio with anna really did help me let go of a lot of the things i was feeling. still, i figured his absense meant he knows whats been going on.

i was nervous before meeting randy n figured it would be a circus. here's part of a message i just sent to anna:

i thought it would be hella worse than it actually was, altho while i was waiting for her to get back from a meeting i saw a cop n as soon as i did i knew he was there for me. when she got there we went in her office n apparently a guy who goes by "greg latimor" or "greg sanders" and this chik named "jessica dorsi" e-mailed the school/called the counseling center n said that i'd written on my mindsay about shooting up the school n myself. how fucking rediculous is that? they read me this e-mail n i was just like, "i have no idea who these fucking ppl are" n i really don't. the cop also said that both of the phone numbers that called in talking about me started with some area code in florida. i told them that the only ppl i could possibly think would do this would be cyn/albert, or that random person that comes on my blog n leaves messages about how i'm a fat ugly whore that should just kill myself n shit. (i'm leaning more towards that because the e-mail also said shit about me cutting myself n showing it off to ppl on the web n in real life. how many cuts did u see when i was out there?) they'd even e-mailed the link to my mindsay to them n i said, "if u wanna check it, you have the link," n they were like, "we did, n ur right, there's nothing there." it was weird tho cuz then they started asking me about cyn n albert n what albert is like. i dunno if they talked to them after i left or what, but they did make a point in saying, "we don't know who these people are, either. we don't know that its is them and we don't know that its not them." n the only time i really started crying was when i mentioned that the 15th was when my grandma died. i was thinking, "great, now they're gonna tell me this is suspicious," but they didn't. u'd have been so proud of me :)

that's the abreviated version of what happened, n that's pretty much it. it reminded me a lot of when i had to do basically that same shit in middle school, but this time it wasn't quite as bad. i was really scared that they'd try to make me disarm a gun or something crazy like that like albert had to do in hs cuz i could seriously accidentally hurt myself or someone else doing that cuz i really have no fucking clue how. i'm sure its not that hard to learn, but i've never been taught that. n it sux that now the school has the link to this site so they can scope it out if they ever feel like it, but if that's the only way to show i'm not a gun-toting looney then i guess that's all there is to it.

today has been full of ups n downs n i'm sure that there will be more. my test this morning wasn't too bad n neither was the rest of class, really. before my stats lab, tho, jackie told me that there's this guy who's a friend of hers n he wants her to hook him up with someone...n she told him about me n she was wondering if i'd be interested, hehe. i didn't have the chance to ask her about him before i had to go to class, but i was really excited. as much as i still want to be with albert, who still hasn't been on here, i really need to move on n i know that. i also really WANT to move on. i know that lingering on him does me no good n besides that, after all the pain he's caused me i'm still asking myself why part of me still loves him. i know i said i didn't want another boyfriend again, but i guess i'm starting to get desperate. i'm tired of hurting over someone i'm not important to.

then i found out that a class that i really wanted to take next semester overlaps w/ sexual diversity, a class i not only want to take but is required for my minor n only offered in the fall so i need to take it next semester if i want to graduate next year. n i was getting so excited for next semester, nothing overlapped or anything...grr, school!

then i went to go prosect n accidentally cut off part of a muscle n some viens i probably wasn't supposed to. it was deffinately not my day for prosecting, n tomorrow i was gonna tell my professor about the scalpel...haha...

in other news, apparently sean is walking over here now, which means I'M GETTING LAID! fuck yea! i know sean's a douche, but i'm glad to be getting sex. i started thinking about albert n really missing him again today. i hope he's ok, he still hasn't been by n apparently cyn's got some crazy rash n she's been semi-quarentined. (ha!)