Good Fucking Timing!

Since I'm seeing J tonight I went over to yahoo, where I also had the message "I need to get laid" up, and went invisible instead. Maybe 30 seconds after I did that, Phoenix came online. That was a really fucking close call. He probably would have tried to whore me out again. Asshole. Oh yeah, for all of you who know about those times I saw guys for money (I only had sex with one, thank God), it was his idea, not mine, and he was the one doing it. Sure, I could have said no, but I was in a different place then than I am now and it didn't seem like an option to me. It's still really hard not to talk to him, but I want him out of my life. There are still times when I think about how much money I could make in porn if I lose all this weight, but it's not worth it. This is the guy who nearly raped me once, this is the guy who broke into the side yard of our house and threw rocks at my window because I was ignoring his calls. This is the guy who grabbed the hair on the back of my head, pulled me back against his car seat and told me that when he calls me, I should ignore any other calls, answer his and see him. (I told him that I wasn't answering his because I was on the phone with another guy, who was actually my ex.) This is the guy who's lied to me about his age, birthday, job, and name at least three times each. This is the guy who fucking cheated on his wife with me and didn't tell me that until the second to last time I saw him. Yes, I'm going to hell because I saw him one more time after that, and because he told me that before we did anything the time that he told me, but look at that crazy shit he did to me months before. I was afraid of him. I still am. And I'm tired of that. I just hope he doesn't do that shit with my window when he comes by in July...

 

*thought* it's possible that he was trying to ignore me, but I'm not sure why he would. Afterall, he's always the one calling me and sending me messages whenever he sees me on. I have no idea why he's so obsessed with me. I guess in a way its kind of flattering, but you can see why it's also scarey as hell. He keeps asking me if I want to marry him and he keeps saying he thinks I'm the one for him. I'm 19. He's what, 31? Fucking creepy.