can't u just leave me alone?

even just coming on here i started getting anxious because i knew that when i looked, i'd see that albert hasn't been by n i was right. i'm trying not to think about it because its starting to REALLY hurt, but i'm trying to have fun here n make the most of things. i'm actually having a great time, despite the fact that i can't get albert out of my fucking head n i had another dream with him where cyn let us get back together n we had sex n stuff n then cyn made us break up again. i don't know why, but i'm starting to worry about him n want to call him, but i can't. its not all bad, the things that have been making me think of them, tho. like two nights ago i was watching bizarre foods w/ andrew zimmer on the travel channel n they were in iceland, which has a lot of hot springs. this guy had a chicken that used nothing but steam heating- he could boil water in 10 seconds n had an oven that used steam to heat things, too. he had rice cooked in 10 minutes, n not that easy rice shit, either. i thought that cyn would appreciate that, u know if the two of us were still on speaking terms...n she wasn't a bitch, haha

 

oh, n yesterday i got a call from my boss at EOP while i was with anna at her cousin jamie's appartment in pittsburg, PA. apparently he'd gotten a call on friday, too, n as soon as i saw the 707 area code on my phone i knew it would be something fucked up, n i knew i shouldn't have answered, but i did. i can't wait to get back to school n find out that all my professors n everything know, too. seriously cyn, if u really were worried about me, why would u put me thro this? do u know how embarassing this is to have everyone think they're in on a situation that they're not? n seeing as how the cops lied to me about not saying anything to my roomies, god knows what they've told to anyone else. seriously albert, how could u let that fucking cunt do this to me even after all that shit u told me about how u understand what i'm going thro, after all the shit u said about how pissed off u were when you got kicked out of ur school n had to talk to cops for some bullshit reason? i guess u really never did love me like u said u did, n there's few things short of moving the stars themselves to prove to me that u did. He once said that he's like Homer Simpson and Cyn is like Marge Simpson from the simpsons. if that's the case, then he's like Phillip J. Fry and i'm like Tarunga Leela from futurama. the only difference is i didn't say it would never happen n if he wanted something between us again, i'm not saying never again, but there's few things short of moving the starts themselves that he could do to get me back right away.

 

well now that i've gone n made myself upset again, i'm gonna go hang out w/ anna n vince until vince leaves for work. i'm not sure what me n anna are gonna do today. we took gabe with us to pennsylvania yesterday n to anna's grandma's the day before that, n yesterday he seemed to be getting antsy that he was out of the house for a long amount of time, so it might be better to stick around the house today. we'll see what happens, tho.