Not-so-scary movie pick o' the night: "Gypsy '83"

Gyspy Vale (Sara Rue) and Clive Webb (Kett Turton) pick up an Amish Boy ripe for corruption in tonight's feature...

 

Gypsy '83!

Gypsy '83 is a wonderful love story about a fag hag and her adorable, virginal gay beau.  But, wait, there's more to love...  This fag hag is not just some fat girl who can't get a man.  She's a diva in her own right.  And her gay boyfriend is more than capable of independence; he aspires to take over the world with his drawings, poetic antics, and frilly shirts.  Together Gypsy and Clive are a dynamic duo on a mission to attend The Night of a Thousand Stevies in NYC.  They expect to just have fun and make their dreams come true, but much more of that is in store for them during their coming-of-age Gothic road trip.  Gypsy learns to step out from underneath the long, dark, dripping scarves of her favorite singer, Stevie Nicks, and finds her own unique and emotive voice.  Clive will prove to himself more than anyone else that he's not a poser, that he really is gay, and that sex isn't as messy as he fears it to be.

 

The only horror to be seen in this movie are the acid-warshed jeans wearing red necks in a seedy backwoods bar the duo stop at one fateful night.  It's there that they meet Bambi LeBleau (Karen Black) draped in pink boas and drinking the limelight as much as she does her sparkling cocktails.  Bambi seems to be the kind of gal Gypsy and Clive would look up to, but she's more than what she seems.  Despite a run-in with scary frat boys, the duo isn't moved to stay down trodden, and even after the glitter fades, they learn to hold on to who they are.  It's the kind of feel-good movie Goths everywhere should get their black nail polished fingers on! It'll make you want to wear a corset and go hang out at your local graveyard...

Empty Boy gives this flick three sighs, a tear, and a long lie down.