not fair ... but just ...
Current mood: contemplative

So ... that's about it...

You ever do something that hurt someone? And not out of selfishness either. Something that hurt someone honestly. To the point that the guilt makes you hurt. Physically. Emotionally. Spiritually.

Up until resently I never really had. I thought I did. I have made my fair share tears be shed. But ... I never felt like this before because of it. I'm just glad I don't have to work for the next three days.

I plan on being smashed out of my mind. I know that won't help any. And will probably make me feel more sick.

But when you are disgusted with yourself at least there is a way to numb it.

You know who you are. You are so much more forgiving than me. Deep down I know I can live with my choice. But right now I don't even want to live with myself.

How can anyone like me when I don't like myself right now .... My stomache hurts. My head hurts. And in an odd way, my heart hurts too. I don't know what to think or feel anymore. I've always known myself. Now I'm not so sure.

 

I'm sorry, kid. And you should know that.

 
   

 


 
 
foreverjustice on
Re: This is what I read and now I feel bad for feeling sad
sorry things have fell to pieces for you.  Things will get better... i hope you can belive that.
aw on
Re: This is what I read and now I feel bad for feeling sad
I honestly don't know what to believe anymore
BigBroWatching on
Re: This is what I read and now I feel bad for feeling sad
Hun, we'll get through this together. I know EXACTLY what a broken heart feels like. **Hugs**
aw on
Re: This is what I read and now I feel bad for feeling sad
It'll be good not to get through this alone
BigBroWatching on
Re: This is what I read and now I feel bad for feeling sad
Exactly, hun. **Hugs**
aw on
Re: This is what I read and now I feel bad for feeling sad
Thank you
BigBroWatching on
Re: This is what I read and now I feel bad for feeling sad
Anytime! That's what friends are for!!! **Hugs**
aw on
Re: This is what I read and now I feel bad for feeling sad
Smiley
BigBroWatching on
Re: This is what I read and now I feel bad for feeling sad:
aw on
Re: This is what I read and now I feel bad for feeling sad:
you make me smile...although it's easy right now...I'm on Anti-depression medication
BigBroWatching on
Re: This is what I read and now I feel bad for feeling sad:
I'm glad to hear it, hun. And the meds can be really helpful, too.
aw on
Re: This is what I read and now I feel bad for feeling sad:
lol yeah, they can.....mine make me kinda crazy and goofy...sorta like I had too much to drink
BigBroWatching on
Re: This is what I read and now I feel bad for feeling sad:
LMAO - sounds nice!
Alita on
Re: This is what I read and now I feel bad for feeling sad
Pull yourself together lil bud...though I shouldn't call you lil since you're actually the older.
All of us are here for you.
And things will work out as they should.
Lots of Love!
-Nova

 
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