I'm not vain when I say this, but I am beautiful!

However in Middle School and High School, I often doubted it and even despized parts of me.

I believed the lies that boys would tell me and the lies I whispered to myself as I looked in the mirror.

In '99, I was in England, taking a training course to help myself know God and others as well.  If I knew how to link the website I would.  It's called Youth With A Mission (YWAM).  The school is unique because every week or so you study a new topic, some include "Knowing the Father Heart of God," "Knowing Your Purpose," and "Studying the Bible." 

The one that I was most interested in, was about "Hearing the Voice of God."  I believed it was possible since in the Old and New Testament people had conversations with God and even met with Him face to face.  Also I was interested in supernatural things since I was very young.  And because I needed to hear from Him specifically, I really pressed in.  I also believed that I had encoutered Him directing me prior to the class, but it was hit or miss at times.

During the week, our teacher would stop class, look at someone and then start telling them about something they were going through and when that happened I would pray, "Please speak to me.  I need you so desperatly.  (I felt exhausted and so much shame and feelings of worthlessness.  Even when I went for a walk during this time, I told God about this.  I saw a dried-up crumpled leaf by the side of a stream and thought, "God that is how I feel.  Wasted and ugly.)

God answered my prayer that week.  I think it was on a Thursday or Friday (It could have been sooner, but it felt like forever) that the teacher stopped class, looked into my eyes and told me, "You are God's princess.  (My name is Sarah which means princess).  You feel like a dried-up, crumpled leaf.  You are worn out and tired."  Immediately, I started crying because I was realizing how much God cared for me and how valuable I was in His sight to be a His princess.  I was comforted because He saw the pain I was going through too.  During the week we were studying a scripture that explains the care God took when He created me in my mother's womb.  It really hit home that not only was I significant to Him, but He made me perfectly-without one mistake.  How I look is on purpose and that I needed to stop saying what God made is ugly. 

That day instead of tearing myself down in front of the mirror for my high forhead or dark circles that I saw under my eyes, I told myself that I had beautiful eyebrows and a nice shape to my face.  I felt so much better.  I felt loved, valuable and beautiful.

At church we have ordered a curriculum from Group for the winter quarter and last week focused on a scripture that was similar to my life changing one.  It's Jeremiah 1:5 "I knew you before I formed you in your mother's womb."  I was able help the kids see that they are perfect so they can love what God made them into instead of believing others at school or their own doubts.  They also know that God made them unique and with a special personality and way of doing things that will help them fullfill the good things God has prepared for them to do.

We formed cookies into shapes after thinking about who we wanted to make it for and then we ate them!  It was fun and I am so thankful that I get to work with children!  I pray that no one will feel like I did, but cherish who they are every day!  I feel so refreshed and useful!