As We Were...

As We were, To our Starting Place. Compare ourselves, contrast our minds.
Possibly Count roses until our minds wander, and our body drifts into the motionless.
We wake, we find ourselves Caught captive in a town we dont like.
We are God's Unwanted Children. We are the Filth of the world. I am, personally,
A compost heap waiting to grow a flower from my Own Piled Embodyment.
I rest. I wake. I eat. I sleep.
And that is where the world ends for me, as I sit, Entraced, and Hypnotic to the beats,
Of an outside world besides this one... This... Hell...
I once thought that the world was a loving one.
I may continue to be loving, but in return I find myself with nothing.
I'm glad to have a friend like Rebecca, who will never be afraid to fight for the both of us,
She inspires me to stand up for what I deserve.
I do love her immensly. :)
Norah Jones soothes me, and taunts me. When I listen to her melodic runaway music, I
Feel this need to do something crafty, or lay down and sink to neverness.
I dont know... I get a longing I'll never Fulfill.
Norah, Thanks for that.
As we were. Will we return to that blissful state we have lost?
I hope to god we do.
I've come upon the idea that There is no god. Not saying there are no rulers of fate.
I think i am God. I think you are God. I think we are all Gods to our own lives.
Maybe that's not the most original statement in the world, but I've truly,
Just come to really understanding it, and pondiring it. Makes sense though, doesn't It?
Anyways. Today was pretty nice. Driver's training this morning, followed by a long visit
to my grandparents'. That was neat. Grandma showed me a quilt she is making for me.
It has these japanese woman in big flowy, colourful robes on the back, and this
beautiful black and white pattern on the topside. It's truly wonderful. I cannot
Wait to throw it onto my bed. It will match and combine with my room Perfectly.
As if it were meant to be. I've been needing more black in my room anyways. It's
been Overrun with Golds and Whites. (And Reds.) But, this will be a spectaculor
New find. :) thanks Grandma.
Then, I walked down to drama, and Seated myself by the two most beautiful people in
the Entire Universe, I'm Quite sure.
After drama, which went very well, (I'm so happy for Cynthia, with her new Drama Class
Opportunity :D ) Me and Cindy and Becca got to talk about the Entire situation. That
Great too, and especially needed. We got to pretty much put everything out on the table,
But... We all know we have much more to cover at a later time... :) I look forward to it.
Then, I came home, cleaned my room a bit, watched some Fight Club (I've been in
That mood lately) and have been sitting here since. (oh, we had dinner too, pasta and
Jellow... god... i love jellow. Ugh.)
What am I Going to wear tomarrow for the performance? Hmmm... Must ponder.
I get to see Caleb tomarrow. That's Exciting, since last I saw him I've learned
a lot about our similarities, which is neato.
There is a big conundrum with the Ani Concert and OSYT...
Alright, so when I tried out for the play (OSYT) I (We) put on our conflict sheet the
18th, because thats the day of the concert. Later, when I find out I get a
Really superb part, I also learn that, though we may be able to get an earlier
Practice that day, I will be assumed coming to the Drama Rehersal, thus missing
the Ani concert. A big no-no. However, I thought it was all under control, since
Kirstin acted like it would be no big deal to make an earlier practice time.
Then, today, I get an email saying that, we may still be able to get an earlier time,
But, if anyone in the cast has any conflicts with that earlier time, it will
be re-moved to the nightly time, and i have to come.
Me and Rebecca have decided that, even after we talk to her about the importance of the
Concert, and the fact that we've already got tickets, and that there are more than
just us involved, we will have to say no to the play. Ani is far too important to
us to Pass this up. Quite simply, there's no contest.
Also, Driver's training scheduling problems may also cause conflicts with drama.
And I'm not putting 300 dollars down the drain for a Director that won't understand.
It's just not happening, I'm terribly Sorry.
After talking this all over with Becca dearest on the phone tonight, We have come
to a conclusion that dropping out may be better for our health this year anyways.
It will cut out awful scheduling headaches, and will also give us two months of Fooling
around time. Not really, I just wanted to cheer myself up. It will actually give us
Two full months of hard dieting, and excersize, so we can come to School totally
Sexy off our Keesters.
How's that for champions? Sacrificing summer... Jesus Christ... We are very devoted to
our own bodies, we must admit... :) I like my Penis...

Alright, it's about time for me to give up to this tonight.
I really do Love you All...
<3 Crayton