christianity
The fear and speculation surrounding this spiritual bogeyman have been building for 2,000 years to the point where today millions of Christians around the world either cower in fear or gnash their teeth at the thought of this evildoer. Fingers have been pointed at everyone from Marilyn Manson to David Hasselhoff and you can’t swing a dead cat in a Pentecostal church these days without hitting an authority on “the Antichrist”
But seriously folks, it’s time to STOP THE INSANITY! Articulator is here to put an end to this yammering ONCE AND FOR ALL by revealing the true identity of Lucifer’s lapdog who’s very name means “against Christ” (that’s a hint).
Now, if you’ll just calmly read the following page and connect the dots, you will be able to conclude for yourself the identify of this egregious embodiment of evil.
First, please note that only one Biblical writer (John) actually even used the term “antichrist” and it appears in only four verses (and not once in the book of Revelations). For your convenience I’ve printed the four verses here, as they appear in the New International Version of the Bible.
(1 John 2:18) Dear children, this is the last hour; and as you have heard that the antichrist is coming, even now many antichrists have come. This is how we know it is the last hour.
(1 John 2:22) Who is the liar? It is the man who denies that Jesus is the Christ. Such a man is the antichrist—he denies the Father and the Son
(1 John 4:3) but every spirit that does not acknowledge Jesus is not from God. This is the spirit of the antichrist, which you have heard is coming and even now is already in the world.
(2 John 1:7) Many deceivers, who do not acknowledge Jesus Christ as coming in the flesh, have gone out into the world. Any such person is the deceiver and the antichrist.
Hmmmm….let’s see…antichrist never capitalized (wonder what that could mean)…already in the world, many of them have already come…deceivers who do not acknowledge Jesus Christ as coming in the flesh…any such person is the…antichrist…
HOLY CANOLI, BATMAN!!!
ANY PERSON WHO DOES NOT ACKNOWLEDGE JESUS CHRIST AS COMING IN THE FLESH IS THE ANTICHRIST!!!
* That’s it, folks. End of story. No spawn of Satan. No grim reaper. No horns and pitchfork.
Anticlimactic, I know. But it’s clear from John’s writing that he was just inventing a new term to refer to those who were against Christ, duh…. “anti" Christ. I’m sure John had no idea that he would spawn a whole religious industry, countless horror movies and book series, and basically scare the bajeezus out of some Christians. Oh, well. Honest mistake.
So, please, in the interest of further clearing up this little misunderstanding that has been perpetrated against us by the flatulent, fearmongering forces of fear, I ask for help in slapping down this antichrist thing-a-ding each time it rears its ugly head. Here’s how you can help. Please print out this page, and using scissors cut a large “X” through the middle of the sheet of paper. Fold up the paper and keep it in your pocket, and the next time you here somebody begin to babble on about the antichrist being Satan’s spawn, yadda yadda – remove this paper from your pocket, unfold it, smash it over their head, and politely say “READ THIS YOU NINNY!”
