Parties

This morning my dad and I went to a "work party." We helped his friends tear out the old fence in their yard and replaced it with a new one. In exchange, all helpers received a free meal. For desert, I tried something new and exciting; chocolate ice cream made not with cow's milk, but goat milk. It tasted strange, but the more I ate, the more I enjoyed it. It was chocolate, after all.

Dad (who, by the way, is the person mentioned in my last post who best understands me) decided we should take a break during work to check out the garage sale down the street. We did, but it was just the standard crap. I mean, come one, people! You wouldn't have to have these useless garage sales/yard sales that no one buys from if you didn't spend all your money on hideous items that you don't need!

. . .

After lunch, I went to a party with my girlfriends. I generally hate parties, but they're fun if I'm with my closest friends, as I was today. It was just a few of us.

First, we watched "Silent Hill," which is a horror movie that would have been creepy if it had been dark out. It was still fun, especially since my friend's little brother started watching Spongebob during a dramatic moment.

Then I played Wii tennis against another friend. I failed, not surprisingly-- these things do require a certain amount of hand-eye. And now my arm hurts.

I often find myself wondering why I am so uncoordinated. I have trouble walking like a normal human being, since I trip over my feet and flat surfaces. I don't trust myself with sharp objects. I spill beverages. Hell, I tried to hug my boyfriend last year and we bumped noses (which I believe was equally his fault, but still makes me cringe).

On that note, I would like to address the issue of boys.

I had a boyfriend for several months, after being friends with him for a long time. He was and is very cool, and we had a real connection, but I preferred being friends. I told him this, which led to excessive drama, and I now know that relationships in middle school do not work. What I think of high school relationships remains to be seen.

Now, I am not ugly. I know that I am kind, understanding, and intuitive. I like boys a lot. However, I have recently come to the conclusion that I am not the kind of girl most boys would want to date. This is for two main reasons:
      1. I am not "sexy."
      2. I am not romantic.

To briefly address Reason #1, I do not possess the sexual confidence to fall under that general category. I'm not saying that no one will ever be attracted to me, but it may take a while to find men who are.

As for #2, I know that most girls are excited by the idea of having a boy say, "you mean the everything to me," or something along those lines. I find this stupid. If I am in a romantic relationship, I want to hear something that I can believe is true. Saying that I am the only thing he cares about is a lie. He has friends and relatives, causes, joys, plenty of other things in his life to be thankful for, to value. I would rather just hear, "I love you," "I think you're beautiful," or "I'm glad I met you." Don't tell me I'm more beautiful than the sun. It's embarrassing.