There is nothing either good or bad but thinking makes it so. -- William Shakespeare

 





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I’ve decided to just stop responding to Kyle. I expect he’ll say something in the next couple of days which I’ll have to politely respond (again) why it won’t work between us. There’s that.

 

Steve. Now, I’ve been undecided about this one. We really work well together, have a great time, I like him a lot…. he seems to like me. BUT- I feel like he’s just trying to fill a void right now rather than actually want to be with someone. I think he still isn’t over the divorce… needs more time to figure things out, etc. So, I don’t know if I even really bring it up or not.

See, I’d leave it go but he did end up coming over the night before Easter. We were just talking all day and stuff via text and snapchat. Then, he asked what I was doing and he ended up coming over to my parents. We were just sitting in the truck talking and laughing and jamming out and stuff for quite the while then one thing led to another and well stuff happened. Which I was fine with.

The thing I wasn’t fine with, was only hearing from him like once since then. It just pisses me off now. He knows what he wants and doesn’t want. ANd I wish he’d just knock it off. I know it sucks and I know he doesn’t want it to be this way BUT… yeah.

Actually, I think I’m going to say something to him right now. I think it’d be best if I just said something to put an end to it or whatever.

 

ENTER NEW SITUATION. (or old situation?)

 

Easter morning, I think. Or maybe the night Steve showed up, I’m not even sure…. I think Easter, actually. Yes. That morning I got a RANDOM snapchat from Kevin. (Kevin that I dated for about a year, two years ago.) WAY threw me off guard. I didn’t even HAVE him on snapchat, I didn’t think. Then, I vaguely remember me asking him to just delete me from snapchat and he did. I thought. I think. Yeah, he had to have because like right before I realized he was dating someone I had sent him a few snapchats and they were NEVER opened. So I thought I had deleted him. Must not have??? But I never really go down the list on snapchat.

 

ANYWAY- point being he snapchatted me. And we talked via that, which led me to facebook stalk him and the girl he was dating. They both appear to be VERY single. Well, he is anyway. She appears to also be single.

So we chit-chatted. Plus I was all happy on mimosas and stuff by then. So it was a nice chat. Then, he ended up TEXTING me, which threw me off again because I didn’t think he’d still have my number. I had definitely deleted his.

THEN, that night Isla gets home and she’s all ecstatic because she saw Blayce at this Easter thing in town so her and Blayce were talking to each other. And Sienna and Lexi were. (Blayce and Lexi are his two kids….. and our kids just got along SO well and loved each other so much!) So it was just an odd situation all around but good.

AND he’s been texting me and snapchatting me the last couple of days.

 

I’m not sure what to do.

It hasn’t been flirty or anything. It hasn’t been like anyone is trying to “start” anything or “rekindle” anything.

 

Quite frankly, I’m not sure what I think of it.

 

I kind of feel that if it didn’t work before, it probably won’t work again.

 

HOWEVER, I do know that him and I got along great and I wanted to be with him and I was just completely devastated when it didn’t work.

 

The reason for it kind of ending, if I recall, is simply my desire to get remarried/ him not sure he wanted to, I kind of wanted to keep open the idea of having a baby/ he didn’t really think he wanted that. SO, those being the two main reasons. Another reason was that I wanted someone who would, at least, go with us to church occasionally, I don’t need every weekend- but I need sometimes. OR at least be open to finding a place to go together or…. I don’t know. And he was actually saying he’d start doing that. He was really good about wanting to work it out together and stuff. BUT I do think it was mostly the kids and marriage thing.

 

Like I’ve said before, I’m not totally against being good with what I have and not having more kids. BUT I want it to be an open idea. MAYBE that we don’t try but if it happens it happens? I know it sounds kind of dumb but….. I guess that’s what I want. I want it to be an OK thing. It could have changed for him, I’m not sure. I know his last gf had a really young child, so maybe he’s more open to the idea now or maybe that made it worse? lol I don’t know. AND I’m definitely not giving up on my wanting a marriage someday.

 

I’m down with just being friends now. I think we work well together, friends wise. Hopefully that’s all for now. I guess I’m not sure what to think about it. I’ve never really had this happen before.

 

 

 

 

 
 


 
 



 
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