Now I see that it was genetically ordained. My mother was a redhead.

What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is every night?
A redhead!

What's safer: a redhead or a piranha?
The piranha. They only attack in schools.

How do you get a redhead's mood to change?
Wait 10 seconds

What do you call a Redhead with an attitude?
Normal

Only two things are necessary to keep a redhead happy.
One is to let her think she is having her own way,
and the other is to let her have it.

A young man marrying a redhead asked his father for some marital advice. The father said, "Just remind her who wears the pants in your family." The evening arrived, the new husband tossed his pants to his bride and said, "Here put these on." She did and said "I don't fit into these." "That's right!" he said, "and don't you forget who wears the pants in this family!"
With that she flipped him her panties and said, "Try these on." He looked at them and said, "I can't get into your panties!" She said, "That's right - and you won't until your attitude changes!"

What's the Redhead Dating Motto?
The fastest way to a man's heart is through his ribcage.

One morning while making breakfast, a man walked up to his redheaded wife and pinched her on her butt and said, "You know if you firmed this up we could get rid of your girdle."  While this was on the edge of intolerable, she thought herself better and replied with silence.  The next morning the man woke his redhead with a pinch on the breast and said, "You know if you firmed these up we could get rid of your bra."
This was beyond a silence response, so she rolled over and grabbed him by the penis. With a death grip in place she said, "You know if you firmed this up we could get rid of the postman, the gardener, the poolman, and your brother."

How do you know when a redhead has been using a computer?
There's a hammer embedded in the monitor.

What's the difference between a blonde and a redhead in bed
A blonde let's you leave the bed when you are satisfied - a redhead
let's you leave the bed when SHE is satisfied.