Dear eBay asshole

I am sorry that your machine you won from me on ebay for a value 1/10 it’s retail value did not arrive within three days of your paying. Although I charged you $20 for shipping I learned that parcel post cost 28. and absorbed the cost myself and shipped it the first day the post  office was open after you had paid.

I am also that the machine is not what you expected. I was not aware that it had a small chip of plastic missing from the back which in no way whatsoever affects the workings of the machine and I resent slightly your accusation that I knowingly sold you defective goods. I wish you were willing to photograph the area but I understand  that you “just can’t be bothered anymore”. And I understand that you just want me to refund your money immediately via paypal despite my knowing if maybe you even broke the machine yourself while unpacking it.

So I guess if you are going to file a formal complaint because the item is not as described (the guidelines state SIGNIFICANTLY different than described) you are just going to have to file because I do not intend to magically make this situation better for you without your active and polite cooperation.

Yours truly, the ebay seller