heart
Where is the life in all of that? Where is the purpose of it all? What is the point in any of it? Living just for the sake of living and getting through the days seems so mediocre. And humans should be so much better than that. Sure, we all go through days when we just don't want to care. We're stressed, we have a lot on our minds, and all we want to do is make it through a couple of hours and past our current dispositions. But that's just it... we are our dispositions. Time doesn't change that. We change that. Circumstances may have an influence, but changing circumstances themselves do not warrant any such change. It is up to us to make our lives purposeful and meaningful. If we want to make a point in our lives, we have to make it ourselves, not wait for things to line up, for the bad days to pass, for us to feel more prepared. The time is and always will be now.
I've had an interesting train of thoughts throughout the day...
We owe ourselves so much more than just living our lives. We have the ability to make it all so grand and glorious. Not all of us choose this path, though.
Someone once explained to me a saying about not being able to see the forest for the trees. It means that you're focusing so much on specific problems or issues that you're missing the larger purpose, the bigger picture. Sure, problems may arise, but don't let those problems consume you. Give them the time they rightfully deserve, and then move on. That should be more than enough resolution to any situation: the knowledge that you gave it a try.
But what happens when that try just isn't enough, when there's just not a sense of resolution no matter what? What if you're so stuck up in the trees that you're missing the spectacular forest all around you? Sometimes when things hurt bad enough, it's hard to get on with our lives, to even think about other things. But we must. Or at least we must if we ever want to get to a place where we can feel satisfied and accomplished again. It's not going to be easy, and it probably won't be an overnight transformation. It takes time, and it takes hard work. Lots of hard work. But I hate to think that anyone couldn't get on with life because of one situation.
Maybe it's because I'm young and naive, maybe it's because I have wisdom in some form or another, or maybe it's just because of what I've lived through, but when I really need to, I can keep life from hurting me... that doesn't mean I don't cry a lot... I can be an emotional person, but I only allow myself to be that way when I'm around people with whom I am comfortable. What I'm referring to is more about a complete surrender and acceptance of relative powerlessness and an understanding that I am the only one who can make myself happy, no matter what happens in the world around me. Other people may be able to inflict physical pain upon me, but I am the only one who can control my emotional pain. My heart cannot ache unless I allow it to do so.
Does this make me appear cold to people, especially ones who don't know me as well? Yes, I think it does, and that may be a drawback. I can be euphoric when the time is appropriate, but in general, my emotions are a bit more collected and passive. Not to the point of being stoic, I hope. In general, it's a form of protection, and inside, it keeps me happy much, much more often.
You might think this is all a load of bullshit, and I can't expect everyone to believe or understand what I'm trying to say. But for me, it works. Life will happen anyway, so why not allow yourself the knowledge that you don't have to be affected by every single bad thing that happens to you? Every now and then, people mistake this for me being a very strong person. Maybe I am strong emotionally... I'm not sure. But more than anything, I think it is simply the peace I have found within myself to be accepting of life as it comes at me.
You can't go your whole life only reacting to what happens. Someone insults you... you're angry and offended. Someone is nice to you... you're happy. Someone trips and falls... you laugh. Someone tries to hurt you... you cry. You're only reacting. You are utterly and entirely controlled by what happens to you. It's time to start happening to the world, not the reverse. Act, too. Don't just react.
I have to thank Dan Millman and "Socrates" for that analogy.
Live life with a purpose, not matter what it may be. If you don't want to let people hurt you, then just don't let them. Don't shut the world out, but don't let the world control you either.
And be strange. I hear it keeps things interesting (if you're reading this and we've discussed this lately, the rest of this has not been directed at you, it was simply a nice, light joke to throw in at the end, kind of like a James Taylor song on a Saturday morning road trip =D).
