Hartsville Memories

So last night, Matt I were trying to decide when he got glasses, and we ended up checking last year's yearbook, then we ended up going through most of the yearbook, and that led me to pull out my old Hartsville yearbooks to read some stuff to Matt that people had wrote me from back when I had friends (our little joke).  It was a lot of fun to read back through stuff that people had written.  Ericka, Kyria, Anita, Adam, Auston, Edward, Leah, Amanda, Cisco.... it all brought back so many memories of inside jokes we'd had that I'd forgotten about.  But reading through them, I had to laugh out loud.  I explained to Matt that I knew he wouldn't understand most of the stuff I was laughing about, but I did explain a few things to him... like Ms. Rumph's science class, Paige's project (the moon one), the way Ericka turned her desk around, Mrs. Blakeley's class and making up stuff to laugh about, 9th grade gym class and me walking on my hands...

 

And there were so many more memories that I was reminded of, too.  The way I used to keep Anita awake in class, the jokes Christan and I made about English, French class with Amanda and Adam, Region trips with Leah and Mr. Jones, llamas, making fun of Edward at lunch, his olives and handmixed salad dressing, the parking lot, my huge amp, all those awful bomb threats freshman year when I was on crutches with a hurt wrist, too, minesweeper in sophomore seminar, bipolar fruit, unc vs. duke fights, actually just fights with Ericka in general, our political "discussions," Kirby and Ms. Hewitt, the time the campus flooded and Mrs. Page rode the canoe around the parking lot, Mrs. Alexander trying to send me home because she thought my skirt was too short (she was just jealous of my legs!), Psychology class with Miranda and our story we made about Mr. White and trash, all those movies we watched, Physics with Cisco and Afotey and Kerrie, our egg drop, the catapult contest (Kerrie and I clearly won that one), racing cars, watching Apollo 13, then there was Biology and making babies, and Sydney, and especially Mrs. Shire for World History I and II, and how angry she got when Andrew tried to hole punch a quarter and broke it, and Paul in that class, and Chris Wallace and I sitting in the back corner (the only time that year he actually learned something), and that geometry class with Cris and Andrew and everyone, trying to understand Mr. Ford but not really wanting to at all... the way he measured the margins of our papers, writing English papers during the 10 minute break, Ericka and I getting moved across the room from each other in our 12 person English class, making signs for each other... still talking across the classroom anyway (she might as well have just kept us together), my way over-sized band shirt, riding back from Camden with Edward, being in the pit, competitions, state finals, band class every day, Mr. White's, um, positive attitude, strobe tuning, algebra II class freshman year, Ericka and Adam absolutely destroying my perfectly good review pack out of jealousy... oh man, there have been so many wonderful memories from Hartsville, and reading back through recollections was so much fun.  It made me miss Hartsville that much more.

 

I really am happy here in Winston.  It was so hard leaving a getting adjusted, but this year's been good for me.  School's a little challenging (something new), there's a real mall, I've met some great people, there are a lot more opportunities in this city... symphony concerts, the top of parking garages, Pilot Mountain, the weather's a little cooler.  But as I sit here and contrast Winston and Hartsville, there are so many irreplacable things about Hartsville.  It's supposed to be that way, I've decided, because it means that the time I spent there meant something to me.  That's so important.  $1.50 movies, church, school, the rooster, bizzell's, oh god... the snowflakes they put up in town at Christmas.... the fact that downtown was only about 4 blocks, the Y, applebees, kalmia gardens, winning All-American city, football games, pep rallies, the spray paint on the gym wall... I miss so much about that place. 

 

I wouldn't want to redo my life so I could have stayed in Hartsville for the past two years. North Carolina life for just over a year and a half now has taught me so much.  Many things about it have been wonderful, especially some of the friends I've made.  But reading through all that stuff from Hartsville made me miss it... a lot.

 

As we go through life, we change.  We learn and we grow.  We make mistakes.  Sometimes we fall down.  But so long as we are able to learn from life, it's all ultimately worth it.  I've changed so much since I've moved up here, and perhaps that's something else I realized looking back through my yearbooks.  And all that I've had to struggle with has only taught me that much more about life.  I'm going to be learning until I die, but I'd like to think I have a pretty good idea of who I am, what I stand for, what I believe in, and what I am passionate about.  Knowing about yourself is a powerful tool.

 

Another thing about life... the ultimate surrendering of yourself to your situation and that which is outside of your control.  We're supposed to be vulnerable every now and then, we're supposed to go out on a limb and take a risk when something matters to us, we're supposed to be weird, and we're supposed to be able to wear our hearts on our sleeves.  It's not about hiding, it's about absolute vulnerability.  You must believe in yourself first, above all else.  And you must be willing to take chances or else you might never get anywhere meaningful.  This has been especially true for me lately, definitely on Wednesday. 

 

I hope everyone's having a wonderful holiday season and I miss you guys tons!!