futureCheesy analogy, I know, but bear with me.
It's funny, how childhood dreams, ambitions, and promises that I have made to myself have seemed to come true, if not in the way that I have expected. The whole LU presentation yesterday really got me thinking about the future (again), and being the person that I am, I can't consider the future without first reflecting upon my previous perceptions of it. You see, through my lifetime, I had about three major phases of career goals (not counting the week of ballerina-dreams, or the fortnight marine-biology ambition). When I was really small, well I guess until about grade five, I had in mind for myself a simple career, albeit repetitive and low paying. but then, in those days i didn't consider how tedious tasks that I found fun would become, or how little choice there was, and how very little pay there would be for me. From that, I blossomed to another dream, that I would become an ambassador for Canada. (Of course I overlooked my tendency towards homebody-hood,, and need for famlial ties, as well as the necessity for patience and pleasantry, as well as the diguisal of all emotion. Not to mention the excessive amounts of political butt to be kissed. Tenderly and repeatedly.) Well, I guess that childhood dream will be realized next year, to a point, with the student exchange, though that's not quite the manner I expected it fulfilled at the time. As for my goal since about grade nine, well psychiatry is the path for me, but we have yet to see how that shall work out (let's roll the dice to get into med school. 2 200 applicatns for 25 spots. Yeah, shall be interesting, I'm clever but not that clever).
Anyways, several other childhood resolutions have also been adhered to, some in ways ironically unwanted at the time, but I won't bother to bother you with that. The future scares me. I thought I'd leave you with that thought, because it's honest. I know that it can be taken in many contexts, but the unknown has always unnerved me. This doesn't strike me as odd--"going with the flow" would seem to me the much more . . . bizarre, abnormal and dangerous approach. But then, it is only in facing one's fears that one it truly brave (who said that, or something similar? Why do I pick up all of these quotes, but never the speakers?) Anyways, I'll attempt to prepare myself for this future to the best of my ability, and face it. Im afraid of it, I won't be taken to our encounter kicking and screaming.
