Well, it is Saturday and you know what that means . . . . You don't ? Strange, because I don't know either. :P Anyway in keeping with my proclamation for August to be Humor Month I thought I would pass on a few jokes in the hopes of putting a smile into someone's day. Even if it is only my own. :O If anyone out there cares to join in, please feel free to share some of your humorous thoughts, feelings or moments and turn this one man humor fest into a community Smile generator. :D

Humor and Jokes Part 1

Rooster and Owl

What do you get when you cross a rooster and an owl?

A cock that stays up all night!

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Viagra

For anyone who might be suffering from the side affects of Viagra such as the erection lasting more than 4 hours there is a new support number for you to call.

Instead of calling your doctor and wasting a good thing, you can now call the special support line at 1-800-get-laid.

They offer full support, (not that you need it in your current condition) and will help you through the 'hard' times ahead. Due to 'stiff' competition, a deal like this is 'hard' to 'beat'.

If  you happen to suffer one of the other side affects like blindness, you can always feel your way around and maybe use that new 'tool' you have as a cane. Just be careful what you 'bump' into.

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A 90-year-old man said to his doctor

A 90-year-old man said to his doctor, "I've never felt better. I have an 18-year old bride who is pregnant with my child. What do you think about that?"

The doctor considered his question for a minute and then said, "I have an elderly friend who is a hunter and never misses a season. One day when he was going out in a bit of a hurry, he accidentally picked up his umbrella instead of his gun. When he got to the Creek, he saw a rabbit sitting beside the stream. He raised his umbrella and went, 'bang, bang' and the rabbit fell dead. What do you think of that?"

The 90-year-old said, "I'd say somebody else killed that rabbit."

The doctor replied, "My point exactly."

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Man of the House

A man and his wife were on their honeymoon. The husband took off his pants and handed them to his wife. "See if they fit."

"They don't."

"Now you see who will wear the pants in this house." She thought a little while, and took off her panties and asked him to try them on.

"I can't get into these."

"And you won't, either, with that attitude."

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Stuttering Problem

A man visits the doctor's because he has a severe stuttering problem. After a thorough examination, the doctor consults with the patient. Doctor: "It appears that the reason for your stuttering is that your penis is about six inches too long and it is thus pulling on your vocal cords, and thereby causing you this annoying problem of stuttering."

"Ddddd octttor. Whhaaat cccan I dddo?"

The doctor scratches his forehead, thinks for a minute and states that there is a procedure where we can free up the strain on the vocal cords by removing the six inches from the penis and freeing him from this horrible problem. The patient stuttering badly states that this problem has caused him so much embarrassment as well as loss of employment that anything would be worth it. The doctor plans for the procedure. The operation is a success and six months later the patient comes in for his check up.

Patient: Doctor, the operation was a success. I have not stuttered since the operation. I have a great job and my self esteem is fantastic. However, there is one problem, my wife says that she sort of misses the great sex we used to have before the extra six inches were removed. So I was wondering if it is possible to reattach those six inches.

The doctor scratches his forehead, thinks for a minute and says: "I dddoonnnbt ttthhhinkkkk thatttt wooould bbbbee possssssibbble!"

More funny stuff on the way so be sure to stop by often during the month to see what chuckles I can come up with next. The next post will be something I created from the depths of my humorous twisted mind. At least it made me laugh when I was putting it together.

Until then, always remember . . . .