relationshipsI'd really like to write an essay about my frustrations with the female race and the two warring factions within people that have been so fundamental in the success or fail of the relationships that I have observed. One faction is what a person really wants to do, and it is often set at odds and engaged in mortal combat (especially in this proto-mormon culture) with what it is that a person ought to do. What I want to do vs. What I think I should do.
Two people that seem especially perfect for each other often have the former of these factions in common. This means that both of them really want the same things out of their relationship. Somehow, however, one or both parties convinces themselves that the other faction IS what they really want.
A perfect example of this is a young woman that convinces herself that she really isn't interested in a serious relationship on the basis of fear that she might "miss out" on other available "opportunities." In reality, she wants to give in to her true heart's desire and dive in head first. But instead she thinks herself into the ground. Rather than missing out on some ethereal precognition of theoretical opportunity, she misses out on a real-life opportunity handed to her on a gleaming silver platter. Meanwhile that opportunity is half drown in a tinted glass bottle scratching another tally mark into a familiar barstool.
Okay, so I haven't been around very long and my experience is both circumstantial and limited. Yet, even in such a brief era of observation, variations of this scenario occur again and again and again. And again and again. Of course it never plays out in such a one-sided manner as my provided example, and yet my frustration with the female race is justly based in this recurring pattern of behavior - that is: substituting what she thinks is right for what her heart truly desires. As with any generalization, this is not 100% specific to the accused party (women, in this example). As with nearly any stereotype, though, it is correct 93.7% of the time.
Perhaps Katie and I have acted rashly, irresponsibly, placing impulsive desires and improvident actions ahead of careful calculation and prudent planning. I can't speak for her, but it seems to be working pretty well for me. Fact: 100% of what-we-should-do-motivated action has led to heartache, misery, and regret. Every time we put what we both want first, I'm happier! As far as I can tell, Katie seems to be happier as well.
Recurring pattern: Kate and I decide to break up for potential reason#3,829,442. Anywhere from 12 hours to 28 days later: EPIPHANY!!!
I don't want to do this; you don't want to do this; LET'S NOT DO THIS!!!!!!
Potential reason#3,829,442 can then go in the "no bueno" file along with its 3,829,441 brothers and sisters. I mean, sure, maybe Katie and I aren't the smartest couple out there. But then, this principle of not doing what you don't want to do just seems very common sense to me.
In conclusion: I just wish girls had a little bit more discrimination between what they really wanted and what they think they should want. I don't care how good the intentions if (when) the end result is always the same: nice boys just can't find anyone willing to take a chance on them. I'm lucky. Blessed, really, in that Katie has a firm understanding of the wide expanse between these warring factions, and most of the time she recognizes which is the one that makes her - and me - happy! But Katie is one in a million: The exception to an otherwise bleak and disheartening rule. This rule is an application of one of the precious few "always" laws about women - that not a damn one of them knows what it is they want. Maybe if they could tell the difference between what they want and what they think they should want, it might not be such a convoluted question to answer.
Two people that seem especially perfect for each other often have the former of these factions in common. This means that both of them really want the same things out of their relationship. Somehow, however, one or both parties convinces themselves that the other faction IS what they really want.
A perfect example of this is a young woman that convinces herself that she really isn't interested in a serious relationship on the basis of fear that she might "miss out" on other available "opportunities." In reality, she wants to give in to her true heart's desire and dive in head first. But instead she thinks herself into the ground. Rather than missing out on some ethereal precognition of theoretical opportunity, she misses out on a real-life opportunity handed to her on a gleaming silver platter. Meanwhile that opportunity is half drown in a tinted glass bottle scratching another tally mark into a familiar barstool.
Okay, so I haven't been around very long and my experience is both circumstantial and limited. Yet, even in such a brief era of observation, variations of this scenario occur again and again and again. And again and again. Of course it never plays out in such a one-sided manner as my provided example, and yet my frustration with the female race is justly based in this recurring pattern of behavior - that is: substituting what she thinks is right for what her heart truly desires. As with any generalization, this is not 100% specific to the accused party (women, in this example). As with nearly any stereotype, though, it is correct 93.7% of the time.
Perhaps Katie and I have acted rashly, irresponsibly, placing impulsive desires and improvident actions ahead of careful calculation and prudent planning. I can't speak for her, but it seems to be working pretty well for me. Fact: 100% of what-we-should-do-motivated action has led to heartache, misery, and regret. Every time we put what we both want first, I'm happier! As far as I can tell, Katie seems to be happier as well.
Recurring pattern: Kate and I decide to break up for potential reason#3,829,442. Anywhere from 12 hours to 28 days later: EPIPHANY!!!
I don't want to do this; you don't want to do this; LET'S NOT DO THIS!!!!!!
Potential reason#3,829,442 can then go in the "no bueno" file along with its 3,829,441 brothers and sisters. I mean, sure, maybe Katie and I aren't the smartest couple out there. But then, this principle of not doing what you don't want to do just seems very common sense to me.
In conclusion: I just wish girls had a little bit more discrimination between what they really wanted and what they think they should want. I don't care how good the intentions if (when) the end result is always the same: nice boys just can't find anyone willing to take a chance on them. I'm lucky. Blessed, really, in that Katie has a firm understanding of the wide expanse between these warring factions, and most of the time she recognizes which is the one that makes her - and me - happy! But Katie is one in a million: The exception to an otherwise bleak and disheartening rule. This rule is an application of one of the precious few "always" laws about women - that not a damn one of them knows what it is they want. Maybe if they could tell the difference between what they want and what they think they should want, it might not be such a convoluted question to answer.
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Re: Actually, a survey instead.: - lol and sometimes I say irrational things when I am madsadhappyANDg...
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