I guess you blogged about it because it was on your mind.  And no, there is nothing to live for if you are not happy with who you are in Christ. Once you know that He is the reason you were created, just the way you are, for his pleasure, then he gives pleasure back.  He wants you not only to live your life, but he says that he has come that we may have life and that MORE ABUNDANTLY. 

When you start to have a relationship with him, a true relationship, praying to him, listening for his answer, reading his word to understand more about what he wants for you and is to you...THEN will life be worth the living...and then you pass what God has given you, onto other people, and it becomes more and more fulfilling...then you will be truly doing something to make a difference, like you said you want to do.

For some reason, I predicted that sort of answer from you. Maybe it's because it's the truth that I can't seem to find whatever the heck I do. Not that what you said was a bad thing at all, though. There's some days where I feel like I believe and some days I completely don't. I'm waiting to somehow stable that decision, but have no clue how. How do I know he's really listening? He used to speak to me, but he rarely does anymore. Has he given up? 

I think you have to PUSH...which means PRAY UNTIL SOMETHING HAPPENS.  Even if you have to lock yourself in your room on an afternoon and just start praising him for everything he has ever done for you, for every talent he has given you, even for STUFF that  you are privileged to have...then start praising him for the things that you think are bad in your life.  Just tell him that you want him to renew your mind, and that you are going to stay in his presence until you FEEL him, even though you know you are supposed to go by faith and not feelings.  Maybe he just wants you to trust him, Em, that no matter what, even if you don't hear from him, that he is in control.  But you have to ALLOW him control.

He is such a gentleman that he will not force himself on anyone, least of all someone who is doubting his existence.  He grieves over the lack of faith but waits until we come and ASK him for the faith to bloom again, and then he will go out of His way to help.  He is not just a Santa that gives every time we have a wish list. 

He says that he who comes to him must first believe that he IS...exitsts....AND that that he is a REWARDER of them who DILIGENTLY seek him!  Remember the little lady that needed bread for her house, and banged on the door of the judge? He didn't answer, hoping she would go away, since it was the middle of the night, and in those days, people used to have their sleeping mats all the way up to the door, so in order to help her, he had to disturb the whole family.....BUT SHE PERSISTED.....SHE WAS DESPERATE....and it says because of her importunity....her keeping on, keeping on.....he finally got up, and her family didn't starve.

Em...but importunate with God....keep up talking to him, praising him, telling him your heart, but then be silent, and read his word and allow him to talk to you...and I have no doubt that you will feel him...don't give up, okay?  He loves you with an undying love and wants you to put him first, to show him how important he is to you.....just do it; I dare you....you are the type of girl who could end up being a radical Christian who can change the world around you with your boldness for Christ....really!

We're somewhat alike.

Yes; I did the bipolar one and it was extremely high...of course, I answered it how i was without the meds....no doubt i am manic depressive!

Well, we all have our faults. I'm actually debating on whether or not I may have a mental illness, myself. Other than my A.D.D and Cerebral Palsy, of course.
Are you allowed to sign on to Yahoo? It's been a while since we last chatted.

Not supposed to but I still do from time to time. But you are probably asleep right now.  I'll try tomorrow or during the week, when you are back at school, okay? Look forward to chatting to you...

Love you dear!

Yeah, I fell asleep. I have Monday off as well, if that counts.

It counts, but my husband is off work, and I HAVE to learn some brand new music by wednesday night, to practice for a rally on Friday. But I'll try and get with you a bit...can't promise though...sorry that's all I can offer!

No trouble. Don't concern yourself over it.