As you said, love and hate don't cancel out, i think, they can both be present, but you can sometimes tell them appart, or at least you have to have something negative to be hating about. They are similar in the way that they are intense feelings and make you think about that person + connected (unlike indifference), but one makes you wish the person harm so that they'll understand the pain you experienced. Both can be painful too, love is if there's aprehension, hate is just plain painful anyway. I think one difference is hate makes you wish them harm, love makes you wish them reward.

The mind will always find a way to cope with time, even if it's hard to see now! As long as you survive you're a success in my book - because then you give time a chance to do the healing, which may be painful short term, but the gain in immunities +resolve will be permanent

Yeah, I am not saying love and hate is the same thing, I just do not think they are the opposite of one another, like a lot of people seem to think. Of course hate is hate, like all the things you say, and love is something totally different, but if you really think about it, they are not the opposite of one another. I don't think so anyway.

 

I will survive; this is not my first relationship, nor the first end to a close relationship. I made it threw in the past, I will make it threw again. I am tired of failed relationships, but there is only one constant in them all, and that is me, so I must be either doing something wrong or looking for the wrong type of girl.

 

I only had one really perfect relationship, but it was too close to the end of another and the girl could tell I was not over the first, so she said sorry but she had to move on, I wasn't ready and she could tell. If only I could have met her a bit later.

 

Well, actually, my relationship with Elyse was pretty close to perfect for the most part, just closer to the end things fell apart.

 

Like you know how when you are looking for someone, you know, looking for love I mean, you put yourself out there. You talk to people, testing the limits, searching for a connection. When you talk with people, you are careful about what you say, we are all a bit dishonest I think, we want to find that someone special. What do people expect?

 

That did not happen with Elyse and me. I was not looking for any relationships at all, but I had met this girl, she and I kind of hit it off and where considering ourselves a couple, it was only about a month, maybe a month and a half.

 

 And then Elyse and my paths crossed. It was like lighting had struck, You know all the uneasy feelings sometimes as you are looking for a connection and such, never happened with her and I, we hit it off like two pieces of a puzzle that just dropped into place. Within a couple short conversations, we where able to finish each other sentences. It felt like we both found that part of ourselves that had always been missing, I am not kidding, and it was that dramatic, and that amazing. Like we won the lottery.

 

She was with someone else to, just for a couple weeks though and for a while, we both didn’t feel it was fair to breakup with these other people, they had done nothing wrong. But then they did, the both kind of ignored us, making us talk more and more till we couldn’t handle it and we both ended our other relationships and got together.

 

I swear is felt like we shared the same brain, we could always guess what the other was thinking and such, it was a magical time, and it lasted for a long time. We had this bond like no other. We talked of marriage, having children together, living in a log cabin on a lake that was all ours.

 

Being as all good things must come to an end, long into the relationship, like 2 and a half years long, she started to change, and she never came out and just told me she was starting to think and feel different. I thought she was being sarcastic and kidding around for the most part, until it dawned on me, she was no longer the same person she once was.

 

We still had, and have a lot in common. We still got along pretty damn good but things had really changed, and the relationship was suffering. Suddenly we didn’t see eye to eye on a lot of topics. Suddenly we started to get on each other’s nerves.

 

I am not sure, guess there is a lot to any relationship falling apart, but personally I think it was one evening when she suddenly got very upset with me without really a good reason. I said I didn’t think she was being fair and such, then she basically wanted me to either just freak out on her, or she wanted me to end the relationship right there. I could tell what was bothering her most was my lack of reaction. Or my lack of negative reaction, I guess. All I know, is at this point, things really changed, this is where I suddenly could see us not making it as we had planned.

 

That was not that long ago, maybe 4 months or so, we haven’t been together as long as she posted, about 3 years, or it will be 3 years soon. Anyway, point of this whole story is that was it, it was all down hill from there until last week when we both burst out expressing our anger towards one another and then we both knew, it was over.

 

But, still, I love her, that is all I can say.

I agree they're not opposites on all levels - they have similarities in being strong emotional connections that make the subject the forefront of your mind

I've never been in a relationship, but I think it's hard to know what kind of issues there's going to be. Sure, you're the constant in ALL aspects of your life, just as I am in mine, but as long as you intend well and offer love - who has the right to reject the love of anyone? - Even if there are issues, maybe they can be sorted out as soon as they arise - although I understand that some issues might be so deeply entrenched that all hell will break lose trying to deal with it (like when I try to get my parents not expect as much of themselves +others) - it is a slow process I suppose and it depends on how many issues you both have - but I s'pose the best you can do on your part is deal with anything that bothers you, and think about it.

Whenever I have tried I screw up in some way - the aprehension is painful to me, and I kinda gave up because it seemed I never get to the point where I get some kinda reward. I have a problem of not being able to read people that well, I simply can't tell whether they really do like me or not usually. I have a philosophy that the less you expect with anything in life, the less dissapointed/more delighted you'll be, whereas if you expect more you'll not like what you get so much - I suppose though love is a nonessential luxury

I simply cannot imagine connecting to someone so well - i wish i could, but if i'm being real with myself it's not gonna happen - i don't want to torture myself with false hope, people say how i'll just meet someone, but it doesn't happen, and I don't have the guts to make it happen anyway - people say I'll gain confidence with time - but that's a lie - I've gone backwards if anything, I feel people just say that to pass the problem off.

I don't know why Elyse changed at that time, something must've come up and there must've been some issues she needed to deal with - but it seems they couldn't be worked out? I noticed when I saw you two talking in that thread on her blog, things were coming up in response that weren't even brought up before - so they must've been issues - i don't know what to do other than to deal with them one at a time as soon as they arise, and try to do it completely, making sure it sinks in - it would take a long time but it'd put it to rest. It should really be a 2 way thing though... but you can only do what you can do