Poem- Renew me- dakr poetry

Another poem, maybe a little bit of a classic ending...oh well. not quite sure of a title. "renew me" or " trembling I shake to resist" , "let this be my reward", " let me reward myself ", or something. anyways, here it is:

Renew me
open them again
let me be free
don't watch me as I do it
don't tell me no
let me do it
I'm sorrt I hurt you
let this be my punishment
how could I do that to you
how could you leave me
I had nothing
I deserved it, didn't I?
Of course I did
I cared so much but ended up,
breaking my own heart, and yours
as well.
I had it coming
it was my own deed
It wasn't a plan
You know I'd never hurt you
if I could help it
I didn't know
Now, just like you, you're healed
again, but not me
I don't think I'll ever heal
The wounds want to be reopened
they cry to be renewed
I deserve my reward
let me die in regret
you wont let me forget
how much I loved you
I can't bear to think about you,
the pain I inflict
it's for you.
revenge against myself
You've taken your hits as well
but I feel it's not enough
I must bleed for you
as my apology, I bid you
farewell, to never bother you
again, but effect me
until my death
ended at the fate of my
own two hands
so let me snip my veins
and bleed to death for you.