beatles
I did too. About three days ago. "Fuck U" Over my chest.
I'm sorry. Why, may I ask?
Or... do I hint sarcasm or something?
no sarcasm.
In Short I beat the shit out of myself. My girlfriend was seeing another guy for a little while while we were going out. She forgot to tell me, she said she was planning on it. Gave myself a bloody nose, partially a black eye. Etched Fuck U into my chest. She wanted me to tell her how horrible she was and yell at her. But I told her I would never say anything bad toward her and I meant it. So I didn't. I didn't really have anything to say mean, I guess I'm too nice. Well that's what people say. And I think that made her feel worse for fucking me over and not having me feel bitter toward her.
In Short I beat the shit out of myself. My girlfriend was seeing another guy for a little while while we were going out. She forgot to tell me, she said she was planning on it. Gave myself a bloody nose, partially a black eye. Etched Fuck U into my chest. She wanted me to tell her how horrible she was and yell at her. But I told her I would never say anything bad toward her and I meant it. So I didn't. I didn't really have anything to say mean, I guess I'm too nice. Well that's what people say. And I think that made her feel worse for fucking me over and not having me feel bitter toward her.
:/ I'm sorry. I can't believe people do that. Why did you hurt yourself, though? Punish yourself for something she did? I can see why you didnt want to talk it out on her though. I think if she wanted it, then it's good you didn't say anything. That made her feel worse, obviously. And she deserves it. I'm really sorry. *hug*
Eh. I don't know why. But it was different beating the shit out of yourself.
Well I couldn't talk it out with her. She hadn't actually given me a chance. I mean I talked to her afterward but it was done by then.I guess her mind was set.
Well I couldn't talk it out with her. She hadn't actually given me a chance. I mean I talked to her afterward but it was done by then.I guess her mind was set.
Yeah. I suppose it works kind of like cutting and any other form of self abuse. I don't even understand my own.
Well it was kinda beat the shit out of my fists, now one hand is bruised. Cut my chest up then beat the shit out of my face until it bled and a small black eye. Kinda all at once.
I can't say I really know why either.
I can't say I really know why either.
Yeah. That seems to be more visible though. Does anyone ask? What would/do you say to them? Mind their own damn business? haha : )
Well I have a myspace and that was my default. I can put it up here if you want. I mean half the people think it looked real and the other half don't think it does. I mean sometimes I tell them no, or yes or believe whatever the hell you want to. I didn't exactly show my sister because... well that's just something you tell your family. I had blood all over my shirt from punching myself in the nose. They just thought I was a case of insanity. haha.
I mean say a close friend asks, I tell them it's real and just kinda say what happens. My cousin asks I tell him it's fucking paint... because my dads side of the family is the type that starts to talk... When I tell people they usually understand.
I mean say a close friend asks, I tell them it's real and just kinda say what happens. My cousin asks I tell him it's fucking paint... because my dads side of the family is the type that starts to talk... When I tell people they usually understand.
You took pictures, then?
Insanity.. yeah, right. I wouldn't call it that. People just like making up excuses.
Why didn't you change your clothes/ clean yourself up?
Insanity.. yeah, right. I wouldn't call it that. People just like making up excuses.
Why didn't you change your clothes/ clean yourself up?
I took two. The one is not so bad. I can put it in a reply if you want to see. It's not really gorey(spelling).
Yeah people talk and when they do they usually don't know.
Well it was a three day weekend. And I changed wednesday. I just didn't have the will to change and clean up so quickly.
Gore is nothing to me; The only thing I can't stand is vomit. If you would like to post it, it's up to you.
I think I can see that. With me sometimes, I'm just at the point where I really don't care. Something like that.
I think I can see that. With me sometimes, I'm just at the point where I really don't care. Something like that.
I love the Beatles! They are my all-time favourite band!
~*Beatle fan*~*316*~
Me too! But I have a few favourite bands. Woot.
Sweet!
~*Rebekah*~*316*~
Wootness.
that word's awesome.
~*Rebekah*~*316*~
Indeed it is. :3
The best words invented is: I love you
~*Rebekah*~*316*~
I think they're overused. :/
As well as too often MIS-used.
I agree...and waaay to often it's not meant and rarely shown.
~*Rebekah*~*316*~
but, when they are meant, those words are music.
Too true, too true.
did you want add me as your friend? We talk a lot to each other.
~*Rebekah*~*316*~
I never figured out how, but I'll add you back if you add me?
Okiday.....will do! 
~*Rebekah*~*316*~
Did you?
Yup. I did right after I said I would.
If you haven't received it, go to my profile and at the top of my friends list click on add Saphyra16 to your buddy list and voila! I'm on your list.
~*Rebekah*~*316*~
If you haven't received it, go to my profile and at the top of my friends list click on add Saphyra16 to your buddy list and voila! I'm on your list.
~*Rebekah*~*316*~
Does pretending help? It's an honest question. I've done a lot of pretending myself, and I don't know how to feel about it as I look back.
I hope you feel better soon.
I think pretending to be happy means focusing on acting like everything's okay, which is taking my mind of all the bad things. If I
m ignoring all the bad things then yes, in turn it makes me feel better I suppose. Also, most people don't want to be around people who are depressed and unpleasant, so it's better if I pretend and works out for the best that way, I find. Thanks, me too. But I've been hoping that for the last 6 years or so, unfortunately. :/
m ignoring all the bad things then yes, in turn it makes me feel better I suppose. Also, most people don't want to be around people who are depressed and unpleasant, so it's better if I pretend and works out for the best that way, I find. Thanks, me too. But I've been hoping that for the last 6 years or so, unfortunately. :/
You're right. Most people don't want to be around people who are depressed and unpleasant. But there has to be someone in your life who you can be real with, right? Or at least mostly real. Or as real as you can allow yourself or trust yourself to be. I keep asking myself what i have to lose by being utterly real. But I spent so long building this construct of myself that people really believe it. Inside I am a scared child, but maybe we all are and I just happen to be in touch with it. Do I make sense to you?
Yeah,but most people I've been "real" with, I have lost. Right now I have someone I try to talk to, but it's still not complete.
Yes, I feel kind of the same way. But every time I try to say how I feel, people insult me and say I need to just get over it and it's all my fault. Not exactly comforting, you know? And when this has happened with every single person I've tried to open up to, it's very discouraging to try again. I don't want to make myself hurt any more than I already do, you know? I think I get what you mean.
Yes, I feel kind of the same way. But every time I try to say how I feel, people insult me and say I need to just get over it and it's all my fault. Not exactly comforting, you know? And when this has happened with every single person I've tried to open up to, it's very discouraging to try again. I don't want to make myself hurt any more than I already do, you know? I think I get what you mean.
Yes, I know. I know what you mean. It's sad that people who don't know how to comfort you turn and insult you instead. That's really a shame. I hope the person you can talk to is someone you can eventually open up to all the way. Trust takes time, though.
Yeah, trust can take a long time. I like to avoid pain by never giving them the chance. I know some people deserve chances though, and I deserve to have someone I can trust, I suppose. :/
My psychiatrist told me yesterday that I need to be lavish in my love for myself, and not to be unkind to myself. Like not calling myself names for making mistakes. He asked me if I would treat a dog the way I treat myself, and I had to say, no, I would not. Guess he had a point. Maybe that would help you, too?
I try to be nice to myself. I don't think I'm that mean to me. I try to avoid pain and situations that make me feel bad, etc. I treat myself if I've had an extra bad day. Why do you bring this up? I'm not sure I understand where it relates to what I've said.
I guess I just related it to your subject "I need to work on paragraphs, and not cutting myself." Just thought it seemed like a good idea to be very kind to yourself. You seem like a nice person, and I think you deserve kindness.
Alright. Well thank you. You deserve kindness as well. : )
Hey Boo, if bleeding blows your skirt up then I say screw the paragraphs and just whack on yourself till you're plumb happy... or you could just go ahead and eat that fricking muffin.
♥Wendy
Haha. I did eventually have the muffin and it was good, thank you.
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