This blog is starting to feel pointless. It used to be a lot for poetry, but I hardly write anything new anymore and no one comments anyways...Now, the point of my blog is to just talk and not worry about what I say or what others will think, itsn't for other people to read... But I don't find it really helps. I don't know. I'm in a wierd mood and I just don't want to do anything or feel anything and I want to run away and hide from everything. I hate being sad all the time. I hate being in love with someone I can't have. I hate not getting any sleep. I hate being unhealthy. I hate trying constantly and never yielding any results. I try all the time, and it wears me out but I keep going. I hate how cliche I am sounding right now. I hate that the poetry I seem to write sounds cliche and dumb. I hate being attacked every time I decide to show some feeling or let someone know how I feel . I hate when people say " everything will be alright" or "it's not that bad". I hate being reminded of everything I hate all day long and into the night. I hate how I am so lame to try to end my posts with something "deep" or "complete". I hate this post. I don't actually mean hate, in this post. When I say hate, I really mean it just bothers me... it's just shorter to say. I guess some things I do mean hate... Like sleep. I hate when I don't get sleep... I don't want to want things that don't want me... it's hard living.... having a video memory.... and he's always on my mind.... I want him.....We used to be such good friends.... I miss what we had. He makes me so happy. Now I see him every day and he makes me cry. His arms around her and not me. my first taste of real jealousy.
love
