There's always a wall. Something in the way, a driving force against me. I keep running at it, and I get knocked out, and keep trying and trying. I paint it, I hack at it, I try climbing it, I try to find my way around it, I lick it, I hug it, I kick it,
I hate it, I love it. Call me emo I don't give a shit. Life is 80% torture, to say the least. And I might get people saying "oh it's not that bad" or "it will get better" and shit I don't agree with or already know. Maybe I'll use my screening powers and strain them out. :3 Maybe I could just post to myself. Never did that before.
Yes I'm whining. I shut up about my life pretty well all day all the time to everyone. Here I ramble. Growl. It's hard facing every day. I sleep in til 15h00 usually, if I don't have to get up. And often I should, to do work. but I don't. I want to stay sleeping, dreaming, out of reality.
Reality sucks. I don't have many friends and if I do they don't have time for me. Most of the friends who made time for me don't want to be friends anymore or they moved away. I hate it.
I hate that every thing is against me. Even on good days and in good moods, something isn't right or goes wrong. I'm not asking for perfection, but more than one good day a month would be nice. Hell, even one good day a month would be okay I guess. I might get a good day once every three months and it's often followed by a week of shit worse than usual.
Gotta have balance, right? Fuck.
love
