i personally always saw it as someone who sleeps around, who flaunts her body inappropriately, who lets men use her. someone with no morals. trash.

now what hurts the most is... am i? because i know some people seem to think so.

by some strange definition, is my behavior befitting of such a harsh word?

so this bit of information i'm not proud of

jon paul, andrew, sam, seal, chris, tj, james. 7 guys. in 9 months. not a statistic i'm proud of.

i did the math, and that means on average, a new guy every 5-6 weeks

but the thing is... it's not like i've done anything with all of them. the last time i've done anything that could be looked down upon in any sort of way was 4-5 months ago, and that wasn't much! it's not like i had sex with all, or any of them for that matter. some of them i did absolutely nothing with!

mostly it was date them for a month, realize we aren't really meant to be together, then i break up with them. or get broken up with, in one case. and it's never, "ohh, who am i going to date next?" out of everyone, this year and from before, i've only broken up with someone for someone else once. and that was months and months ago and the guy i ended up dating was a douche anyway. and it was always at least a week or two before i'd date someone else.

but i'd be single, then someone else would ask me out and i'd say yes, because i have this thing where i want to see the good in everyone. i want to give everyone a chance because what if they're really awesome once i get to know them? usually they're not what i was looking for, but i still give them the chance to prove it.

so now here i am with a guy i'm trying to get to know. a guy i'm trying to spend time with and really make sure i like before i commit to anything. and i'm a slut for that? i'm a slut for trying not to jump directly from guy to guy? and yes, so we hang out a lot. we're friends, duh. and yes, we do get kinda close but i like him and he likes me so what the hell is wrong with that? me liking to flirt (like half of the female population at sshs) makes me a slut? i'm trying to do the responsible thing here and not start something without being sure.

i guess i can never win. 

(and seriously, if you think i am a slut, just tell me. let me know, and you better have a real reason as to why you think i deserved to be called one. just tell me to my face, and not to ronnie or someone else who'll let me know what a slut i am but not tell me who said it in the first place. don't be a coward if you have a problem with me.)