be with, as in i was his and he was mine and we were eachothers

beautifulbeautiful

i could love that guy

the best parts were when we weren't that physically intimate

he would just squeeze me tight, like he never wanted to let go

he would push my hair out of my eyes, kiss me on the forehead

he'd hold my hand and play with my fingers

he'd tell me how he likes holding me close, how he it when i smile

(and i'd smile anytime we'd make eye contact)

i still have butterflies!

so this morning i woke up

and in my half-sleep a thought hit me

"i'm about to lose my virginity"

well, i didn't

idk if i'm happy to be able to say that or not

because, now, if i could have anyone

wanna guess who it is i'd want?

and as close as we got, physically

(and we did get pretty damn close)

he never once tried to pressure me into it

he didn't act like he cared, either way

he just wanted to kiss me and be with me

and he is a fantastic kisser

i don't think i've ever had so much outright fun kissing

i mean, i (almost) always enjoyed it before,

but he'd make me laugh out loud!

he's fun and sweet and sexy and amazing

and i think i'm doing exactly what jason warned me not to

as in falling for him

but you know what? so what.

i can fall for someone who lives across the country

at least i'm happy

i mean, i got the guy! the guy!

when he leaves, i'll probably be sad

but i'm a very out of sight, out of mine kind of person

i'll have the memory still

at least i'm almost positive jason was wrong

about the whole he was only looking for an easy lay

because we didn't, we were just, together

i'd give almost anything for him to stay, though.

it was the kind of together i've always wanted

wow. my heart is still racing.

but maybe it's better this way, though

i can't get hurt hurt

we both knew it'd be like this

it's not like we're attached

i'm so insanely glad he didn't pass up the chance though

highlight of my summer.