I'm feeling a lot better than yesterday. I just came home from seeing my therapist and she always helps to put things in perspective. I read to her yesterday's entry and told her how frustrated I am feeling with God. I told her I've been getting different advice from different people (not my Mindsay friends) and I just end up feeling confused. She told me I needed to go back to what I said to her last Tuesday - I need to find my answers with just God. No human can give me all the answers. The answers are in His word and I need to dig and look for myself. We talked about my Borderline Personality Disorder. She said I have to pray that when I'm praying and reading the Word I'll look at everything through a clear lens and not a black and white lens and not a victim tinted lens. It makes sense - everything in my life is tainted by my BPD so it makes sense to ask the Lord to remove that from my prayer life and my time with Him. I'm still going to do Beth Moore's Breaking Free but I'm realizing that her Bible study, as great as it may be, is not the Word of God. My therapist went over the hour with me and I could tell she genuinely cared about me and loved me buy the way she ministered to me this evening. Thank you, Lord, for the blessing of ***** in my life. Thank you, Lord, that you ARE stronger than BPD.
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