Nothing big to report kid-wise today.  D had a little issue in the caf again but NOTHING compared to the last 2 Fridays, and they BOTH apparently were rude to Jerry, but really, nothing big.  Even A had his tantrums, and I had to take 4 minutes from second recess for first coloring on the table (3 mins) and then for not following my direction to stop because E was trying to do his work (1 min), but overall, the kids all had good days.  Yayy!!!!

                Today’s big issue was the fact that I upset Parker.  And I certainly didn’t mean to; and I certainly felt like crying the whole rest of the day (and still kinda do).  It was at the start of recess, and John Maloney and I were talking about how much influence Parker has over the kids; and Parker was there.  And Parker and I tease each other constantly, so again I said something about ‘not doing things Ms. J (the gym teacher) tells us not to do, not throwing balls at the wall w/ E, not engaging kids in conversation until after they have their folder out/lunch choice made/bag away aka, morning routine started and done. 

I really WASN’T criticizing him; these are things I am working on all the time.  I know he doesn’t think that way, and that a lot of it is not having as much experience in a classroom/training, but apparently he took it at great offense and he actually walked out.  And I went out into the hallway after him, and we talked for half a second, but it was clear he wanted to keep going, and not have company with it, so he kept going and I went back in to talk with John, feeling like a complete ass.  John said, “You didn’t say anything that sounded that bad” and I DON’T think I really did either, and I was saying it in a teasing manner, but … awkward afternoon.  He was professional and we talked a bit and there were some smiles…but it still felt off.  I don’t know if it was just me being ‘Overly-Sensitive-Emily’ and perceiving that he was mad at me because I feel that way a lot and that’s one of my big life worries, but… it didn’t feel the same.  It didn’t feel like how we usually interact.  Claudia said he’s really easy going and that it’ll be fine tomorrow, but I was telling her about what had transpired and I teared up a bit.  I would definitely undo it if I could.